YOU KNOW WHAT’S COOL?! SIX MONTHS (and 2 days, I’m late) AGO, I HAD MR. NASTY REMOVED. SIX MONTHS AGO TODAY, I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL SICK AND HURTING, BUT THAT THING WAS OUT OF ME!
And today…
SIX MONTHS WITHOUT THE CYST, FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
AND YES, IT’S IN CAPS BECAUSE I AM SHOUTING!
SIX MONTHS AGO I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING MR. NASTY POTROAST MCGROSSERTON REMOVED, AND TODAY I AM FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT! WOOHOOOOO!
aaaaaawwwww yeeeeeeeeah!
Just a quick note:
From http://www.diaperdecisions.com/pages/cost_of_cloth_diapers.php
Plus, we’re going with AIO OS, so we don’t need to buy 36 infant, 30 medium, and 24 large. I will probably buy some infant diapers for the first couple of weeks, but after that (based on the sizes of my mom’s babies at birth) I assume the OS diapers will do the trick.
See also: Diapers.
Rough weekend. Someone reading this would assume it was because of my full house over the weekend, but I promise that has nothing to do with it. On Thursday, we narrowed our house-hunt down to 4. On Friday, 3 of those 4 went under contract. Two of them literally went overnight. So depressing. We had no idea that it could happen so suddenly, and I’m not sure whether that is a faux-pas on behalf of the realtor, or naivety on our part. Probably both. She knew how we felt, surely if she thought we should throw down asap she would have said that. So, it seems like we were all caught off guard. Three out of four times.
Mom, Dad, Haley, Starsky, Van, Trudy, Tyler, Bree, Sunny, Nick and Toby were here over the weekend. Now it’s just me and Jasmine, and I’m so lonely. Tom and Dad went to the Nationwide and Sprint Cup races on Saturday and Sunday. The Herolds were here for a wedding. So, let’s see… on Friday Dad, Haley and Starsky got in around lunch time. We went to Speed Street in Uptown and won lots of fun swag. I was a rockstar. I won game after game. I tell you what, ever since Mr. Nasty was removed, my hand-eye coordination and ball-handling skills have gone through the roof.
On the way home on Friday night, it occurred to me that I had left a Chickfila sandwich on the table behind the couch. CCCRRRAAAPPP. I knew that Jasmine and Starsky would have been all over that thing after we left and was positive they’d get up on the couch, spill half-empty soda glasses (also on that table) down the side of the couch, and litter my floor with the sandwich wrapper. Craaaaaap. The covers come off of the couch cushions easily enough, and are machine washable, but it was already midnight. And I have no idea how we’re going to wash the cushion part of the couch…. I felt so sick on the drive home. So sick.
We pulled up to the house, Tom apologized to Haley in advance because it hurts her feelings when we yell at Jasmine. As we made our way to the door, Haley ran to the window and looked in at the living room.
“IT’S STILL THERE!”
I opened the door to two happy, friendly pups and a perfectly intact Chickfila chicken sandwich exactly where I left it on the table behind the couch. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so happy in my entire life. I felt so warm, almost drunk. Drunk with happiness. It was kind of like marrying Tom, or sitting there with Tom watching the two lines on the pee test form. So good. So wonderfully awesome.
We had dinner at Mac’s Speed Shop (I think), because it’s rated the number one restaurant in Charlotte. It was perfect. A unique Charlotte experience, lots of food for the money – oh yeah – and also it was delicious.
Saturday, I had big plans. Haley and I were going to hit up Old Navy and then paint pottery. We went to Chickfila to get lunch for the Herolds, and Target to get her some pizza. When we got back to the house, everyone was there. It was good timing. That’s what we were shooting for, we wanted their food to be hot. We pretty much got there at the same time, I think.
Turned out we had to dog-sit Tobster. Makes sense. It was really hot out, so he couldn’t wait for everyone in the van like he usually does. Plus, the van was loaded with their stuff for the beach. Everyone was in formal wear. It really wasn’t practical for them to take a slobbery, hairy hot mess with them to that wedding. It just didn’t occur to me until about 30 minutes before they left that Haley, Starsky, Jasmine and I were all in for the night with Toby. Womp wah. (Not that I mind, Toby is always willing to babysit Jasmine!) Haley and I watched the Nationwide race, which I thought was really fun. 🙂 We watched about 6 hours of Jersey Shore in Florence. Haley ordered us a free pizza and breadsticks. She’s a good egg. We had a good time. It’s kind of like when it snows and you decide you have to walk to the grocery store. We felt a little bit of cabin fever because we couldn’t go anywhere, but we made a really good night out of it. My favorite part was our last two hours or so. Haley got a cup of Sammy Snacks and had all 3 doggies sit, lay down, and speak for a treat. She’s really amazing. She is a dog person… she’s an animal person in general. It was like watching Andreas Deja draw in my sketchbook, watching a pro do what they do. Very, very cool.
At 2 in the morning, Dad, Haley and I went to the train station to pick up Mom. And all was right with the world.
Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY. Tom got donuts for the gang. I want to say the Herolds left at 11 for a 7 hour drive, but didn’t hit the OBX until close to 9. (Just a guess based on facebook.) So, I’m real interested to find out how that trip went since I have to do it in a little over a month. I’ve been told 9 hours, so if they did make it there in 7, I want to go the way that they went! You know, of course, what I am thinking. “Nine hours?! I could be at Disney World in 9 hours!” Not just at WDW, but in 9 hours, I could be all the way inside the Magic Kingdom enjoying a Dole Whip.
Dad and Tom left around noon for the Sprint Cup race, the Coca-Cola 600. Mom, Haley and I left Starsky to babysit Jasmine and again I had big plans. Lunch, Old Navy, and Painting Pottery! Woo! We went to Wendy’s and Old Navy. By the time we left Old Navy, Mommy had a “hegg-aig.” We went back to my house and watched… something… what did we watch? I forget. We watched some of the race. Haley and I went to Target and bough the stuff to make PKP and chicken spaghetti. It was a fun little meal. About the time we were done cooking, Tom and Dad came home. Everyone was so exhausted. We ate and passed out.
On Monday morning, I had booked us a breakfast date in Rock Hill. We met Will, Joyce and Sara Beth at 9:30 at Cracker Barrel and sat there running our mouths for about 2 hours. It was so good to see them. I had so much fun. When my food came, I was sad, because it meant we’d be leaving soon. (We actually didn’t, we sat at the table for a loooong time after we were all done.)
We left Cracker Barrel and I whispered into Tom’s ear, “Disney Store?” He smiled at me and nodded.
We headed up I-77 from Rock Hill, into North Carolina and got on I-485 heading east. Dad was fussing at Tom for being in the wrong lane, going the wrong way… he sad something about being a bad driver in front of Mom and that opened Haley up to her Anjelah Johnson, “honeeey, I try to he’p yoo,” impression. We were all dying laughing, wishing Lindsay was with us, and just saying it over and over. So, although Dad thought Tom was going the wrong way, Tom’d just say, “Hon’ay, I try to he’p yoo!” We parked at Macy’s, walked through and looked at luggage. It was kind of nice to just do nothing. Mom hit the nail on the head later, she said that whenever we get together it’s because we have something going on. It was nice to just do nothing. Just shop. Just be together and be funny.
We left Macy’s, walked around that corner and Haley said, “Gah! I know why we came here!” She RAN to the Disney Store. I was nervous, you know. We have a sister that get’s a discount and all of the merchandise is available online. I was afraid they’d think it was pointless to go there. They didn’t. They were excited. We shopped and shopped and shopped and shopped. Dad talked to a Cast Member who said that the stores are making a comeback. Dad said, “Yeah, because you can’t take your kid into an online store.” Dad bought tiny sunglasses for Lil’ Happy. So cute. He also asked me when we find out, because he’s excited about being able to get gender-specific stuff. I am so tickled that he’s playing that Grandpa card.
I bought a Disney Store vinylmation and got the chaser! I wasn’t as lucky with the Snow White minis. I got Sneezy. Not bad, but you know I wanted Dopey.
They were so not-annoyed with going to the Disney Store without our walkin’ talkin’ discount machine, that we went from South Charlotte to Concord Mills to visit the Disney Outlet. The pool in my neighborhood opened this weekend, I was chompin’ at the bit to paint pottery… but the Johnson Family went to the Disney Store. That’s how we roll. That’s what we do. It was pretty fun, as fun as a pool day I’d say.
They left around 4, and I have been ridiculously lonely ever since.
In other news…
I had a BombPop this morning that Tom bought me yesterday from an ice cream truck. It was SO GOOD. The problem? What does a pregnant gal do when her craving is something that rolls by the house at random on weekends? (Or not at all.) What? Go to the grocery store and buy popsicles? Not the same. They’re more watery, more icy. This was so soft. It was a popsicle, but when I broke through the frozen barrier, it turned to some kind of delicious miracle of cushy goodness. The ones at the grocery store don’t slush as much as they just plain drip. Anyway, now all I want is another BombPop. I don’t know what cravings feel like, but this is as close as I’ve gotten to it so far.
It just occurred to me that I have a fridge full of wedding cake from the Herolds! Woot!
Kirk out.
I have a few ideas regarding furnishing the baby’s room. We’ve been looking at houses, so I’m getting fired up. 🙂
See also: design.
As of today, baby is a banana. It’s weird to go from mango to banana. One week, I think we go from, like, acorn squash to cucumber. The round plump to long and skinny transitions weird me out on the food chart. I imagine it being round and plump all the time.
Twenty weeks preggo and I’m still at the weight I was when I started. THANK GOD. I am obese, so I shouldn’t put on too much. I think the stats about diet soda are true. People who drink diet soda tend to weigh more than people who drink regular soda. It’s true with me. I know, I know… I am supposed to cut out caffeine. Actually, I can safely have up to 200 mg of caffeine per day. I tend to have two Dr. Peppers a day, which is about 70 mg. I’m sure there is some caffeine in the other stuff I’m taking in (chocolate?) but I think I am safely under the limit. So, yeah… 20 weeks, and no weight gain. Feelin’ good.
I am, however, starting to see a bit of a bump. My sisters tell me it looks WAY different than Mr. Nasty, way cuter. I got a lot of attention on Mother’s Day, and I don’t really know what to do with that. For example, the manager at Olive Garden gave all the moms at our table a $10 off coupon and told me to come back and tell her when I knew what we were having. I was so shy and awkward. She said,”is it your first?” I said, “Yes.” “How are you feeling?” “Terrified.”
I don’t know how to make myself happy and excited about it, but I suspect it has to do with shopping. I feel like if I could get a crib, and a dresser, and really start to set up for this kid, then I’d feel better about the whole deal. Right now I am just bringing another person into my mess. There’s no sense in buying a crib or assembling a dresser now, when we are moving in (hopefully less than) 2 months. I have a lot of anxiety about the kind of mom I’m going to be. Everyone thinks I’ll be awesome. Everyone but me. I’ve got a good thing going with my husband. We went to the Nationwide race last year just because we had the free tickets. How can we do that with a baby? We have to get a sitter… and blah, blah, blah. Our free tickets and night out costs us $30. We laugh and play and have so much fun when it’s just the two of us. I don’t want to give that up. On the other hand, I don’t know why I think things will change so drastically when we add a third to our party. It’ll just be one more really cool thing we’re experiencing together.
Plus, WE TRIED FOR SOOOOOO LOOOONG!!! So, what? Like, now that we’ve made it I’m not sure if I want to go through with it? Should have thought of that in January.
Ah, January. Mr. Nasty is GONE. That huge open cut down my gut is HEALED. All my parts WORK. Just thinking about that gets me excited about this whole baby deal. Three years, nothing. Cyst removed, FIRST TRY! In January, we wanted it so bad, and tried so hard. 🙂 Our families are THRILLED. It’s going to be born in the Year of the Dragon!
But yeah, I have mixed emotions.
***Just realized, thebump.com says cantaloupe, not banana.***
Haley has said that she’d like to be a fly on the wall inside my head at night while I’m dreaming. I wouldn’t recommend this, as it tends to be a scary, scary place in there. Last night…
It started off innocently enough. The first thing that I remember is watching a marching band practice. They were a small band, but they were really good. I went to find people, like maybe my Dad, and bring ’em back to see this awesome band.
The next thing I remember, we were in a huge stadium watching a football game. I couldn’t tell you if it was high school or college, but the facility was enormous. I was being chased, or trying to escape. There were some terrorists running around that were trying to gather up people and kill them, and apparently I was on their list. I slid down the banister and ended up right beside Leslie Jones (who is now Leslie Guettler). I said hi, I think, and kept on running.
I ended up escaping the stadium and running down a long sandy, dirt road. I followed a few people out, but somehow ended up on the wrong road. They were uphill from me, all together. I was down on a lower road alone with (I want to say) Matt Baysinger and the terrorists. They were coming up on us fast, so we fought. I don’t remember Matt doing much. I feel like he ran. I tried to run, and when I got stopped I clawed my way out. I was hitting the terrorist with my book bag, and at one point I jammed my finger deep into an eye socket.
Back at the stadium, trying to get to that upper road, I ran into Leslie again. (I am always sliding down hand railings in this dream – trying to get UP… you’d think I’d walk UP the stairs.) I told her she had to help us escape. She’s got to get us out of here.
You’d think she’d help us escape by car – and maybe that’s how it started. All I remember was getting off of a bus at The Disney Store. It looks a lot like an updated Barracks Rd. Matt, Dad, and I got off the bus. Leslie seemed unsure about whether to get off the bus or go back to the stadium. I grabbed her bag and said, “just come with us.”
Finding the entrance to the store was tough. We had to enter through the chapel, because there was a lot of construction. The Disney Chapel was interesting to say the least. I meandered around there while I waited for Leslie to come in. The walls were blue, there were characters everywhere, and the pews were bright pink. There was a really high tech clock that hung from the center of the room like a chandelier. It was digital, and told the day of the week as well as the time. It had the Little Mermaid on it.
Leslie is slow getting into building, but when she realizes a complete stranger (my dad) walked off with her kid, she moves through the room quickly. She wasn’t really upset, she just doesn’t know my Dad and wanted to make sure Gabrielle is alright. I followed her out of the chapel and into the store.
We find Dad talking to Gabrielle, who is running in and out of playhouses. Dad says, “Get him! Get him!” My cousin Adam is inside a playhouse full of balls and Gabrielle is tickling him, so we all tickle him.
What are the odds of running into him here. “What are you doing here?” He said Ashley sent him to buy this Jeopardy toy that you can’t get online anymore. It’s sold out, rare, limited edition… really fancy… you get the drift.
I introduce Adam to Matt and Leslie. I tell him Leslie sat beside me at my high school graduation. Matt immediately begins hitting on Leslie. “So, uh, when did you graduate?” he asks her.
First of all, Matt, she’s married. Secondly, she graduated with me – and I graduated with you. That’s the cool thing about our friendship – I thought you knew that. Reggie graduated (I want to say) in 1989, Tom ’99, but you and me, we graduated together in ’01. I was irritated that he forgot about that.
Trying to do the math woke me up.
So, see. Some crazy schtuff goes on inside my head in the middle of the night. I guess it’s entertaining, but if you’re in there as a fly on the wall just watching instead of helping me fight terrorists, we’re going to have words come morning. I’d love to know why my brain picks who it picks to hang out with at night. Very interesting.
EXT: Africa. Daytime, in the middle of genocide
We’re running alongside a river, and a man wearing lots of guns runs out of the woods. We’re terrified, but he is shot, and collapses. We walk past him into the cover of the woods and eventually find a huge tree. The tree is almost magical, and reminds me of a book that I read once. (Although being awake, I have no idea what book I was thinking about.) There is a grizzly old man standing by the tree. He motions for us to climb it. I am surprised by how easily I’m able to get up. The trunk of the tree is huge, like a house. Once I get near the top, I can’t see any of the branches that I used to climb up, and have no way of getting down.
Before I know it, they need the tree for something, so they’re cutting it down. I wasn’t as devastated in my dream as I am now reflecting on it. I just waited and kept crying about not being able to get down. Eventually, I fell out of the tree, but I wasn’t as high up as I thought I was at that point and it didn’t hurt. Wasn’t much of a fall, really. Just a plop – and oh, I’m down.
I have a collection of things like flowers and leaves that I want to make rubbings of in my sketchbook and press to use later. There are other things that I wanted to make rubbings of that make no sense, like a razor blade, or piece of thin metal and I think a bicycle chain. I asked Tom to get my sketchbook and he walked away, leaving me with the old man and an old woman.
I felt very much like a child through the whole dream, at least, from the part where I saw the tree. Before that, I was some kind of rebel, almost a secret agent. I feel like I can’t describe it enough. The actual dream was much longer and more intense than this short description of it.
Here’s what’s going on for the baby’s room.
Everything is designed around this mobile… my mobile from when I was a baby. It plays “When You Wish Upon a Star.”
Although looking at it, mine is a little faded.
Alright, here… here’s what I’ve got so far.
The mobile:
The crib quilt: 
Yeah. Ya’ see what I did there? Here’s another shot of the blanket and some other things around the room. We’re going with primary colors and lots and lots of Disney characters.
This kite flew in my room for a really long time.
I found this at Ikea and bought two of them. We’ve got lots of stuff, so we’ll hide some of it under the crib. I like bright patterns with numbers and letters. Look! Not even born yet and we’re already prepped for a play date with Aunt Haley!
I sent Mom a picture of the crib quilts, and she said, “Wow! Should have known it would be perfect!” It doesn’t feel perfect. It feels very scattered and unorganized and mismatched. (So, please – if you think it’s perfect, stroke my ego. If not… I am open to suggestion.) There are so many things that I love at Babies R’ Us, but none of them match this mobile I’ve been holding onto for 28 years. The mobile, by the way, which will not function until I get a new hook to put it on. I could very easily ditch the mobile and go with the Noah’s Ark theme that I always imagined. Classic. Simple. Most likely well-executed… but noooo… I’m going with this obscure little thing from 1983.
Funny story about the crib quilt. I think I first saw it on Etsy. It’s actually made from a twin sheet and there are a bunch of them out there. I mean, I’ve seen them pop up a few times over the years. People just have one sheet, either flat or fitted, and that’s useless so they make cute vintagey looking blankets and quilts out of them. I saw this particular design, with all the characters in the air and fell head over heels in love with it because of the mobile. With no baby on board (this was YEARS and years and years ago… probably right after we got married) I watched the item and eventually someone bought it. Then, of course, it and everything like it dropped off the radar for a couple of years. When I saw it again (this time on ebay), I pounced on it. “Is that stupid,” I asked Tom, “$30 for a crib quilt when we don’t have a baby?” He said, “we’ll have one eventually.” So that blanket has been in the closet of the guest room for yeeeears. We moved to Charlotte and I put it in the closet of this guest room for a year.
Then, we went to Goodwill. Guess what I found? Same sheet-turned-crib-quilt. This one had a red border instead of yellow and the back has some needlework firetrucks or some nonsense… but that’s the back, and it was $5 or $7. SOLD – to the crazy lady with no baby… yet. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!
***UPDATE*** Alright, I looked at the back and had to share it with y’all.
I know, right? Random. But I appreciate the craftsmanship anyway. It looks like a lot of hard work went into the random back of this $5 or $7 quilt.
You’re here. So, I reckon you’ve heard the good news. We’re knocked up! We’re going to be a bona-fide family come this October! I’m going to be somebody’s mama. How crazy is that?! Welcome! Thanks for stopping by! Take a look around!
Be sure to click the blue tabs over there ———————————————————————>
“Our Story” is really the beginning. It also has a ticker so you can track That La Kid’s progress. I’ve been working on a registry. (Too soon? Yeah, well, it was already a work in progress for about 9 months BEFORE we got pregnant.) And since everyone seems to have input on the name game, there’s a section for that, too. Finally, just because every other baby website seems to have one, there’s also a guest book. Sometimes it even writes back.
This here main page is the blog. Please visit often and comment frequently (and at length whenever possible). I’m selfish. I like the attention. It’s tough being 4 hours from the people who love you and who’ve got your back. I know a lot of you have been praying with us for a number of years and I hope the mileage won’t stop us from sharing this experience.
Some things are password protected, but that’s for your safety – generally to protect people who’re afraid of TMI (*cough* HALEY *cough*). If you’re interested in reading this blog with reckless abandon and you’re not afraid to hear about sex, drugs and rock and roll, the password is wushu. Let this be your warning: sometimes it’s gross.
The few folks who’ve already seen that tiny blurb of a kid thought it was just another picture of Mr. Nasty. It is not. Mr. Nasty was HUGE. The distance from yellow mark to yellow mark here is less than 5 cm (although this picture was taken 2 weeks ago). This thing has a head, arms, hands, legs and feet! Looky there! We replaced the tumor with a little parasite. AND we did it on the first try. (I’m really proud of that, so you may hear it a lot.)
As of today, I am 14 weeks – and finally out of my first trimester!
Kiddo is due on October 7, 2012 – the Year of the Dragon!!
Have you ever had that dream where you just can’t find a bathroom? Or once you find it, you can’t get any privacy?
Last night, I was at Olive Garden with Mom, Dad, Dee Dee and Trudy. Mom, Dee Dee, Trudy and I all got up to go to the bathroom after we ordered. My stall didn’t have a door on it. People kept coming in and I was afraid to get up. (I forgot a little bit about bathroom attempt number 1 after I woke up.)
I went to the Capitol in a wheelchair to try and find a better bathroom. I found really nice bathrooms, and settled on a toilet that was one of four in a big open area. At one point, a shower across from me turned on and started spraying water in my face. I yelled for somebody, anybody, to come turn off the water. A little boy came and turned it off. Men kept coming in the Ladies’ Room. Every time I thought I was safe, a new group of men would walk in and I’d yell, “This is the girls’ bathroom!! WTF!!” There was a little girl playing with a race car at the entrance, so they thought naturally that it was a little boy and that this was the Mens’ Room.
I went back to Olive Garden to try my luck again there. Mom, Dee Dee and Trudy all came back in to check on me. I thought that I was in a stall, but my stall had no door or walls. I looked at Trudy and Dee Dee and said, “so you can see me? Everything?” Trudy said, “Uhhhh, yeah!” Some cleaning lady asked if I was through so she could clean, but Mom sent her away. Before I know it, Mom’s rolling out tp for me, while some guy watches again. I ran to another stall, not only was I in this awkward “I’ve been trying to poop for 4 hours” mode, but I was also running around the bathroom naked, dodging cleaning ladies left and right.
Eventually I was rescued from my torture by waking up. SO RELIEVED – psychologically and physically. I didn’t even have to go – which is usually the case with those dreams, especially for a pregnant lady. I HATE those dreams.
That La Kid 
