That La Kid

We just got back from Disney this morning at 3:02 am.  We were shooting for 2:30, and were making perfect time but had to stop to give Bruce a banana.  Would you believe that added a half hour to our trip?

I drove about half way, which was, like, a miracle because I never drive anymore.  It was nice, though.  I think Tom and I both managed to come home more rested than last time.

Bruce was fussing a while ago, and I couldn’t figure out what his beef was.  He didn’t want the cheesy grits that I was force-feeding him, and he had just woken up and was wearing a fresh diaper.  I put him in bed out of sheer frustration.  He cried.  I brought him a bottle.  He was calm, and now he’s out.  So, I guess we’re all pretty tired after our long trip.  Dude’s only been out of bed for like an hour and a half today.

On Friday, Tom, Bruce and I went to Hollywood Studios.  It wasn’t crowded, but boy was I cranky.  I don’t know what the problem was.  I even told myself not to ruin my own day.  It didn’t work.  I found every little thing, every individual that crossed my path, to be irritating.  We went to Playhouse Disney.  Walked up at 4:12.  Show started at 4:10, doors were shut.  We had to wait until 5.  Usually there’s a line outside all day.  So, I was surprised that they weren’t at capacity with a line for the next show.  We came back a few minutes before 5 and got in line.  We found a spot on the carpet in what would be considered the second row.  I told Tom he was leaving too much space between him and the people in front of him, but he wanted Bruce to be able to jump around without hitting anyone.  Admirable, but he left too much space.  One minute to showtime, two snot-nosed brats got all up in our space, blowin’ up our spot.  No parents.  Just a 6 and 8 year old.  An obnoxious 6 and 8 year old.  P.S. Playhouse Disney is for preschoolers.  It’s my fault.  No.  It’s Tom’s fault.  I told Tom.  I was SO MAD.  In Voyage of the Little Mermaid, the people behind us wanted to talk, in Spanish, through the whole show.  Uhm… we went to eat at 5:35 and the place we wanted to go (because they had veggie sandwiches) closed at 5:30.  Tom bought me a drink, which did nothing to bring me back to earth.  We went on the Backlot Tour.  That was actually really nice.  After the pre-show, they have a restroom so we stopped and changed Bruce.  The changing table is situated in such a way that, although there’s not really any privacy to keep the general public from seeing Bruce’s man-parts, Tom could attend him from the mens’ room, while I helped from the ladies’ side.  It was pretty fun.  It put us in the back of the line.  (Ugh, the line.  Everyone was looking at us like we were criminals because we brought the stroller through the line because THEY’RE stupid and don’t know that you CAN bring a stroller on the Backlot Tour.)  When we got to the vehicles, the cast member directed us to a lane, and then said I’ll do ya’ one better.  He put us alone in the back row so we could prop the stroller up in front of us.  #WINNING!  I felt like I was sticking it to all the dumb f*cks who were eyeballing me in line.  They all had to wait for us to get on.  They all had to sit there next to each other all stinky and sweaty and wait while we mounted the back, our own private car.

We went to Fantasmic and got there about an hour early.  I never do that, but we’d done everything that we could with Bruce, so I figured why not at least go where we can sit down.  There was a huge line, and an even longer line for Fastpass+ and the Dinner Package.  It was insane.  We were all the way on the far side of the amphitheater.  It was very discouraging, although Lindsay said when she was there with the Gonsalveses last week, it was practically empty at the second show.  That made me feel better.  There was only one show Friday night.  It was a good day, that was the only place that we encountered any kind of line or crowd.  The family of four in front of us each had their own camera and decided to all take flash pictures of the entire show.  I don’t know why they kept trying.  Their pictures were sh*t.  I know.  I saw them light up on the review screen every single time.  Just a railing hit with the flash, and a foggy white blur of fountains or fireworks in the background.  I just watched the show.  Didn’t take a single picture.  It was nice.

The Beauty and the Beast float was missing from the Princess Medley.  And it broke my heart to hear some kid say, “who’re those people?” when the Indians came out in their canoes.

Friday night we stayed at the Maingate Lakeside Resort.  Our go-to off-property place.  We found a Winn-Dixie and bought a rotisserie chicken, crackers, and cheese, as well as cheap fruit and made spinach/kale/fruit smoothies in the room.  Bruce had a horrible night.  He woke up over and over and over until we put him in bed with us in the wee hours of the morning.  He was very, very tired on Saturday.

We managed to make it out of our room right at check out time, 11 am, I believe.  We headed over to Port Orleans to check-in.  Usually I sit in the car and let Tom do the leg work, but I wanted to see the lobby.  It was really nice.  We had requested a high room, but they were able to put us on the first floor immediately if we didn’t want to wait.  In hindsight, it worked out to our advantage.  It was a parking lot view, but easy, easy, EASY access to the truck.  We parked right in front of our room, 9608.

We’d stayed at French Quarter before, but this was our first time at P.O. Riverside.  If I was going to pick, I’d have probably gone with FQ again, but since it was only for one night, I thought I’d splurge on a Royal Room.  I’ve always wanted to stay in a Royal Room.  The idea is that this is the place where Tiana’s princess friends all stay when they visit, and the room is littered with personal touches from each princess.

OH MY GOD IT WAS AMAZING.

My whole cranky-pants mood turned completely around at the door to our Royal Guest Room.  It took my breath away.  There were little “hidden Mickeys” or “hidden princesses” everywhere.  The faucets looked like lamps from Aladdin, and Carpet was on the carpet.  There was a framed picture of Tiana that had been made by the Seven Dwarfs.  Under the picture, was the footstool from “Beauty and the Beast.”  There was a small shelf with hooks by the door decorated with the carriage from Cinderella.  Ariel single-handedly owned the bathroom.  The shower curtain was printed with dinglehoppers and snarfblats.  It was a Disney fan’s room.  Portraits of Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Tiana and Rapunzel graced the wall.  The headboards held a super-awesome secret surprise.

I felt like I was staying in the Cinderella Castle Suite at the Magic Kingdom.

We had to leave.  We had things to do.  We had to get to Animal Kingdom — or so Tom thought.

As it turned out, there was a Martial Arts competition at the Wide World of Sports that same weekend.  So, for my birthday, I took Tom to the competition.  He totally geeked out.  It was outstanding.  I told him I wanted to get to AK the quickest way possible, so I’d do the GPS.  I (thought I) turned the volume all the way down on my phone only to hear Siri say, “STARTING ROUTE TO ESPN WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS COMPLEX.”  Crap.  I just kept acting like I was directing Tom towards Animal Kingdom, and he obediently went straight when I told him to.  Despite the big entrance that says, “ESPN WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS COMPLEX” he thought we were on the way to Animal Kingdom up until we turned into the parking lot.

Tom’s expression was priceless.  I think he said, “really? What? Really?”  I was geeking out, too.  It was nice to see him so happy.  It was awesome to be able to surprise him.  We took lots of pictures, and made it into the building where the competition was around 1, I think.  Bruce was restless, so we  went to the car and got his blanket.  He fell asleep on the walk there, so I sat outside with him while Tom went inside the arena.  It was a bummer to not be with him, but I know he likes to talk to coaches and stuff.  I’m confident in his ability to fly solo at these things and what could we do?  We had a tired kid.  I wanted Bruce to be in a good mood at our special dinner.

I texted Tom at 4 as a thunderstorm was rolling in.  I was like, “let’s get out of here so we don’t get stuck.”  We went to the room to get our ponchos and the rain stopped.  But honestly, I’d rather take the time to get the poncho and it not rain than try to make a run for it with just enough time to make it to our reservation with no poncho and get soaked — because in that case, it would absolutely have rained on us.

We got to Animal Kingdom at 5:10.  Lindsay called.  “Where are you guys?”  Tom confidently said, “we are walking up to Animal Kingdom right now!”  (Because we parked right at the entrance.)  I don’t know how that conversation went, but she was outside the restaurant at Downtown Disney.  I guess I never mentioned to her that we could only get reservations at the AK one.

She made it by about 5:35.

In honor of my 20th birthday dinner at Rainforest Cafe in Tyson’s Corner, at which Tom showed up and I fell in love, we took our little baby that we made and met Lindsay Kaye and had dinner celebrating my 30th.  It was pricey, and the food was just okay.  But holy crap, Bruce LOVED it.  He LOVED watching all the animals and was situated so that he could watch the gorillas whenever they became animated.  THAT was awesome.  Never would have thought that in 10 years I’d have been back at Rainforest, with my husband and our son.

After dinner, Tom went back to the competition for the grand finale and Lindsay and I took Bruce for a walk around the resort.  It was so awesome.  I felt bad about sending Tom alone, especially since we had a babysitter.  But he came back just grinning ear to ear, wearing Lindsay’s Disney CM name tag, and talking about how much fun he had hanging out with the security guards.  I had a lot more fun on my walk than I think I would’ve had at the competition.  Riverside is pretty sweet for a Moderate Resort.  It’ll be very tough to go back to a Value Resort after this.  From 5:30 pm – 9:30 pm, they have horse-drawn carriage rides.  The grounds are perfectly manicured, and lush.  We walked along a path by the water as boats passed on their way to Downtown Disney.  We went by the pool, it was big and nice and on an island, so I assume you could swim at all hours and not disturb anyone.  (Although I hear that policy will be changing.)  In the main building off the lobby, they have a singer/pianist in a bar.  That place was packed!  He was hilarious.  It was just a really fun atmosphere.  I can’t wait to go back.

We all slept a lot later than I had planned.  I had hoped to get to breakfast at some ungodly hour, because Tom kept talking about breakfast buffets.  We all woke up around 10.  We showered and decided to eat in Epcot.

I had a creme brule (sp?) in France and a glass of Bordeaux.  Tom and I split the Lucky Combo in China, which comes with a pork bun, curry chicken pastry thing, egg roll, strawberry red-bean ice cream and a Coke.  $10.  I think it’s the best deal at World Showcase.  We walked all of World Showcase, all the countries, which was all I really wanted to do.  As a bonus, we hit Journey into Imagination, and Living with the Land.  Actually, the whole reason that I started writing this post was to tell you about Living with the Land.  When we passed the farm house, you know, there’s that dog on the porch barking.  Bruce barked back.  It was SO COOL!  He’s so smart.  I love that little boy.  Bruce was so cute the whole trip.  He really looked around and watched stuff.  We planned to leave at 4.  We actually left Epcot around 4, but didn’t leave Disney until 7:24, according to Tom.  It’s his own fault.  Tom said that we should eat and then go.  So, we went to Port Orleans.  We’ve never had the Food Court there before, so that’d be something new and different.  We walked by Boatwright’s, the table service restaurant at PO Riverside.  They opened at 5, and it was about 4:50.  We went to the food court, but Tom just kept talking about the other place.  So, even though leaving sooner rather than later was for his benefit, he opted for Boatwright’s.

It was GREAT!  Bruce had cheesy-grits, one of his favorites.  Lindsay had a chicken caesar salad.  For a couple of dollars more, she could’ve had an amazing catfish instead of an alright salad.  Next time.  I had the catfish, Tom had crawfish.  His was kind of like a stew over rice, Etouffe.  Mine was crusted with something that was a tad spicy, but I weathered it.  Considering the theme of the resort, everything was a bit on the spicy side.  It came with that Disney corn bread that we all love.  Tom and I both thought it was among the best food that we’ve had on property and just furthered the case for another stay in a Royal Room in the not too distant future.