That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

niacin

It’s a lot.  You don’t have to read it.

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purgatory

I’ve got to do something. My size 16s won’t zip and my 18s are baggy like a potato sack. So… let’s weigh the options:

Looks like I have no choice.

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cheekbones

Look, I’m not saying that I’m so gaunt that my bones are protruding…  I’m just saying yesterday I noticed my cheek bones for the first time.  Were they there all along and I just couldn’t feel them through my pudgy fingers and palms?  Possibly.  But for whatever reason, I felt them yesterday like I’ve never felt them before.

Oh, and today I wore a pair of skin tight 16 jeans to Bruce’s 12 month check-up.  I don’t know whether they are becoming more comfortable or if I am just getting used to the feeling of that button holding on to the the button hole for dear life as either sides of the zipper desperately try to cling together.  Jury’s still out.

My sister lost 16 lbs. in 6 weeks.  In that time, I have lost 5.  WTF.

The cheekbones thing is a good sign though, right?  That has to mean something.  Right?  RIGHT?!

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this weight loss shit just got real

20131011-190248.jpg

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226.6

I haven’t been 226 since November 26, 2008.  And that’s from a graph where the numbers were sneaking back up.  By May 2009 I was 233 and by August 2010 I was 252.

My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 215 (Sept. 2008), and I thought I was hot shiiiiit.

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That’s me on the right.

Basically, this means I only have 11 lbs. to lose before I start feeling human again, feeling pretty.

I am continuing my C25K, which is a training program for running a 5k, and last night I was really running for a little bit.  Not just jogging, but really running.  It’s crazy, after not doing it for a couple few weeks, I was able to get right back into it.  I just picked right up where I left off.  Music helps a lot.  Not having Tom with me actually helps a lot, too, because I race home as fast as I can to be with him.

226.6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been 228-229 for so long, since September 24!  I’m so excited to see a new number on the scale!  Woo hoo!

That’s 9.36% of my total body weight GONE.

In one of my favorite movies, “Hungry for Change,” they say, “you can get 10 lbs. off your body with sheer force, but you’re going to have to pay it back with interest.”  I’m sure the running helps, but I hope changing to a healthy diet will make most of the difference in the long run.  Diets don’t work.  Revolutionizing my life is working.  Getting mad as hell and deciding that I’m not going to take it anymore has made the difference.  Yesterday I had 3 smoothies which consist of kale, berries and pineapple.  I also had couscous, which is basically pasta, tomatoes with basil and feta cheese, a couple of handfuls of peanut M&Ms, a Taco Bell burrito and a slice of chocolate cake.  I’m not depriving myself, but I’m adding so much healthy living that it’s starting to crowd out the crap.

The goal is under 200 lbs. by Christmas.  I wanted to be 215 by Halloween, and 205 by Thanksgiving.  It’s going to be super tough.  I’d be pretty content at less than 200 by Christmas.  The broader goal is 164 by next July.  And since I’ve gone this far in spelling out my goals, if I am still 164 or less by July 2015, then I get the most elaborate Disney World vacation that money can buy, possibly with a vow renewal ceremony so that I can have pictures in a wedding dress without looking like I ate the entire wedding cake by myself.

Our Wedding 2006

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a change in me

A weird thing happened yesterday while I was singing in the shower.

Well wait, let me back up a bit.  When I got pregnant, my nose became very swollen and my voice got real deep.  I did a little research and tried to mention it to Dr. Wolanski.  This article describes my symptoms exactly and is what I believe that I had.  It’s all over my head, but, as the article mentions, once Bruce came into the world, the symptoms began to subside.

Fast-forward to present day.  My voice never did fully recover from pregnancy.  I can’t tell you how disheartening that has been.  I miss singing with the Disney Princesses.  I look at Bruce and just think, “well, I guess my new Gaston voice was worth it.”  I have always had pretty severe symptoms of what I believe is undiagnosed PCOS: facial hair, abnormal cycles, acne.  I’m 30, why do I still have acne?  I had even felt similar pain to that which I encountered that fateful Black Friday in 2011, but much less severe.  We were at Disney World in 2003.  I just could not get the crampiness to go away and was uncomfortable in every position.  In hindsight, I was playing with fire and should have gone to see a doctor.

Tom and I have taken a whole-body approach to health.  Maybe I could take a hormone to combat what I assume is high levels of testosterone that are producing many of these symptoms.  Or!  Maybe I could feed my body a diet of living, healthy, leafy deep green vegetables.  Maybe I can shrink the fat cells that (I assume) are producing some of the excess hormones that are doing this to me.  I believe Coca-Cola fed Mr. Nasty.  (You know, like the way Hexxus feeds on toxins and poisons in “Ferngully.”)  I believe my body wants to heal itself.  I believe my cells are slowly becoming more alive as I embrace the food that God gave us.

ANYWAY

While I was in the shower yesterday, I got a little frog in my throat while I was singing (badly).  I couldn’t seem to clear it.  I just kept singing (badly).  It felt different.  It sounded different.  Hmm, I wondered…  I tried an oldie but a goodie and suddenly I was singing (badly) along with songs that I haven’t been able to sing (at all) for a couple of years.

I may not know what I’m talking about, but I’m going to pretend that the amount of weight I’ve lost so far is already affecting me in positive ways.  I’m just going to assume this whole thing is slowly but surely beginning to impact my health.

I used to belt this out in the car, and Tom would say, “Dang! You sang the ass off that song!”  I’m not back to that level, but it’s really nice to be able to sing it, period:

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omgomgomgomg

So close to being out of the 230s forever.  So close.  232.2.  The dress I wore to Erika’s wedding is big on me.  It’s not potato sack big, but it’s definitely, “hmm, this isn’t as flattering as I recall” big.  The dress that I wore to my parents’ wedding (MY PARENTS’ WEDDING!!!!) is also a little on the roomy side.  It fits, and I’m wearing it to a wedding this weekend.  It’s comfortable, not huge.  However, the dress that I wore to Will and Jamie’s wedding fits, and it didn’t always.  Woot!

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg… this is happening.

That’s just diet.  (Not dieting.  Not temporarily restricting my calories, but deciding to change what I habitually eat as a person, and what we eat as a family, to food instead of “food products.”)  Imagine if I had also been running all this week.

Tom is on day 3 of a 3 day juice fast.  We checked his blood pressure last night and it is alarmingly high.  I am hoping that if he can lose about 25 lbs. it will start to work itself out.  But I don’t know, his dad is in the ideal bodyweight range and he has high blood pressure.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”
― Hippocrates

Did you know that while the weight limit of a bouncy castle is 800 lbs, it’s limited to 160 lbs per individual?  I’d like to be able to bounce in a bouncy castle someday.

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bloggin’ bloggin’ bloggin’

Tom and I took Bruce and Jasmine for a very unsuccessful walk last night with the new, way cool jogging stroller.  We usually do 5 laps around the big Bridle Trace circle.  Bruce started wailing on lap 1.  He was just really tired.  We were able to pacify him for a while, but Tom ended up taking him home early while I went on lap 3.  I walked up and down our street until I was able to get to 3 miles.

But the jogging stroller was cool.  It has rubber tires.  It’s very difficult to navigate.  For those of you keeping count, it’s Bruce’s 4th stroller.  This one isn’t like the others, though.  It’s basically useless except for running.  I told Tom that I feel bad about having bought 4 strollers, but this one doesn’t really count because it’s just like an exercise toy, or weights or something.  It would be really, really miserable to take this stroller to Disney World.  Or the mall.  Or anywhere really.  I cannot stress enough the inability to steer.

I started reading blogs yesterday of women with PCOS who are trying to conceive.  It dawned on me that my struggles with that might be relevant to someone somewhere on the internets.  So, I went back to my ol’ LiveJournal and collected everything that seemed relevant.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  I like this blog being about life with Bruce.  But at the same time, it IS relevant.  Part of the story is us trying, trying, trying.

So, if you’ve found me today and you’re into that sort of thing, you can search my tags for LJ to find the agonizing pre-baby ovarian cyst stuff.

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good day

Bruce is napping, Judge Judy is on, and it’s a good day. 

Last night, we jogged and then when we got home Tom served me a hard-boiled farm fresh egg (after much research about how many eggs are okay) and kale-berry smoothie.  This morning, I woke up back on track with my weight.  I think we have to walk every day.  

We also had a good heart to heart on the walk breaks during the jog.  Tom said, “You know, I don’t care if I don’t lose one pound.  My blood pressure is going down, and that’s priceless.  The more we do this, the less chance of me having a heart attack.” 

He’s right. 

This morning, we found out a local consignment shop, Once Upon a Child (NEVER go there), are complete scoundrels.  I should have heeded the reviews that I saw when I checked in on Foursquare.  It’s not about, “oh, they don’t know what my stuff is worth.”  We were going to take the junk to Goodwill, but I figured what the heck.  Even if I come away with $5, that’s more than nothing.  Well, they didn’t bother calling to let us know that the buyer appraised the items.  So, I wrote a long letter to their corporate office, because that’s what I do.

Let me start off by saying that I really wanted to love your store.  I’d never been to a children’s consignment shop before.  My husband and I were hopeful and enthusiastic prior to entering our local One Upon a Child in Pineville, NC.  Then, this happened: 

It was our first time.  We walked into the shop at about 4:45 on Sunday with a box of items.  Excited but unsure, we are complete newbies with no idea about how this procedure works, except from what we read on the website, http://www.onceuponachild.com/how-it-works
 
  1. Bring in your gently used children’s clothing, toys and baby equipment. 
  2. While you check out the great kids stuff in the store, the buyer will review your items. 
  3. The buyer will select and make an offer on the items that meet current style, safety and condition standards, as well as store’s current stock levels.
  4. Once you accept the offer, you’ll be on your way with some extra money, some great new stuff for your kids, or both!
As we walked in, my husband carried a large box of items.  We were greeted with a shout, “Are you guys here to sell items?!”  I thought it was obvious, but my husband and I looked at each other then back at the character from which the abrasive greeting had boomed.  “Yes, if we can.”  He said.  She said that they stop accepting consignments an hour prior to close, but as a courtesy, since it’s our first time, she’d leave the items for the buyer to sort first thing the next morning.  We left our number and all other pertinent information and were hopeful for a call the next day.  
 
There was no call on Monday.  There was no call on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday, either.  No offer was made.  Finally, we called them.  They said we have a store credit and the unusable items had been donated.  They said that we had to come back in, as they don’t do business over the phone.
NO ONE TOLD US THAT ON SUNDAY EVENING.  
 
Never, in any conversation, did anyone mention that we needed to return to the store.  I would have taken my stuff back out the door as quickly as we had come in and returned again when it was convenient.  My husband and I work, we couldn’t be there Monday morning.  
 
We told them that we were first time customers, why didn’t they mention that we had to return the next day?  WHY DIDN’T ANYONE MENTION THAT TO US?!  What am I supposed to do with a store credit?  The employees were so rude that I have no reason to return.  Let me clarify, independent of the confusion over the store policies and consignment procedures, the employees with which we had contact were short with us, abrupt, and generally unpleasant.  The others were just kind of milling around the store waiting for the clock to strike 5.  The place wasn’t welcoming and did not feel family friendly.  
 
I signed something, and regrettably it’s possible that it said, “You must return at 9 am tomorrow or else we own your stuff and your first born child,” and I don’t remember.  Your store policies and my inexperience do not excuse the offensive behavior or the employees.  
 
As I close, let me briefly mention another experience on the same day.  After we left Once Upon a Child, we continued our consignment adventure at shop called Mommy and Me, also in the Charlotte area.  Entering the shop, we were greeted with a friendly, “Hey, how are you?”  We were free to peruse the store, which was a trendy, cute boutique style consignment shop.  We made small talk with the lady at the register.  Turns out we love the same television show, but I digress.  She built a relationship with us in the 10 minutes that we shopped, and in the end, her consignment shop made $50 from us that day while Once Upon a Child made $0 (besides the items they purchased from us that will be sold to some other hapless victim).  She was overwhelmingly pleasant.  Did you catch that?  We were overwhelmed by how nice she was.  Blown away.  
 
We were also blown away by Once Upon a Child, but sadly it was for completely different reasons.  In this economy, and when it is so difficult to acquire and keep new customers, I can only hope that you’d be shocked and disappointed with the way the Pineville, NC store is being managed under the Once Upon a Child banner.  We may or may not return to spend our store credit, and will certainly tell friends to avoid the place like the plague.  I don’t really look forward to doing business with you, it’s just not worth it. 
 
Just thought you should know.  Thank you for your time. 
 
So, that already had me feeling empowered.  I’m like the queen of strongly-worded letters!
 
Then, I remembered that my Disney Photopass Photos expire today.  It’s $150 to order a cd of all the images.  But I found a Youtube video with instructions to download large (albeit low-res) files for free.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pYuhYDsikg)
 
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I love this picture so much, I may have to buy the digital download of this one.  It’s the kind of thing I’d have framed on my fireplace.  We all look good, and I LOVE that Mickey outfit but don’t have many pictures of Bruce in it. 
 
Weighed in again, and haven’t gained weight today.  Woot!  
 
We have a dinner date planned tonight with my Great Aunt Sara Beth, and probably my Dad’s cousin Will and his family as well.  Pretty fired up.  
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kind of a good news bad news situation

According to my scale, I’ve lost about 15 lbs. However… my scale isn’t really reading right. I could sway and adjust it. I could shift my feet and lose 10 lbs. We bought a new one, and according to the new scale I am 15 lbs. heavier than I thought I was.

All is not lost. I don’t feel like I’m back at square one. I just wish I knew exactly what my starting point was. I feel leaner. I feel more energetic. My clothes fit differently. The measurement is different, but it doesn’t negate the work. It just means I was starting higher than I thought. The only thing that bugs me is that the old scale was pretty accurate during my pregnancy.

Starting from right here, I’d like to lose 100 lbs. in a year or less.

Geez, exactly how fat was I before?!?!

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