That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

happy birthday

I wish that I could remember what was going on during that last post.

So, I meant to write on my birthday, and I should have. My birthday was great. My weekend was alright. Actually, my weekend was good, but I made poor choices. Poor food choices.

Let’s see, my birthday: I ran 8 miles the night before my birthday so that I wouldn’t have to do it Friday while I was in Virginia. I lost a ton of weight, got down to 225 and was so thrilled. I lost like 7 lbs. in 10 days or so. I wish I could remember what all I was going to write about. It was all good things, and I think I could have benefitted from having it available to read today. I felt new. I felt refreshed. I dreamed that I could get down to 215 for Matt and Zhiwen’s wedding (9/13) and that I’d be close to 200 by the race (10/3). It all seemed very attainable and today it all seems so beyond my reach.

Charlottesville really is detrimental to my health. I didn’t track calories. I was severely dehydrated. I ate meat. The night we left, I ate pasta primavera which, in hindsight, was probably loaded with salt and who knows what else.

I came home from Charlottesville about 232.  10 days of work down the drain in 3 days. Sucks. It’s just that same ol’ bullshit again: shed considerably, get really excited, lose track, balloon back up like the win never happened. So, then what… was that just water weight? ::sigh:: So, here we go again.

I guess I need to focus on the good. I ran 8 miles. Me. I did. Crazy. I’m so close to the goal of 10 miles under 15 mins per mile. (Actually, I am a long way from 10 miles at 12 mins. per mile, which is why the new goal is 15.) If you had told me in February that I’d be running 10 miles in October, or 8 miles in August, I would never have believed you.

I think today I need to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate today and prepare for another long run tonight. I’m nervous because there was a really striking difference in my weight when I woke up the morning after my 8 mile run last week, and I can’t help but think I was doing something wrong to accomplish that. The instant gratification felt good, but I want to make sure I’m doing this the right way.

 

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niacin

It’s a lot.  You don’t have to read it.

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226.6

I haven’t been 226 since November 26, 2008.  And that’s from a graph where the numbers were sneaking back up.  By May 2009 I was 233 and by August 2010 I was 252.

My lowest weight in the past 5 years was 215 (Sept. 2008), and I thought I was hot shiiiiit.

Image

That’s me on the right.

Basically, this means I only have 11 lbs. to lose before I start feeling human again, feeling pretty.

I am continuing my C25K, which is a training program for running a 5k, and last night I was really running for a little bit.  Not just jogging, but really running.  It’s crazy, after not doing it for a couple few weeks, I was able to get right back into it.  I just picked right up where I left off.  Music helps a lot.  Not having Tom with me actually helps a lot, too, because I race home as fast as I can to be with him.

226.6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been 228-229 for so long, since September 24!  I’m so excited to see a new number on the scale!  Woo hoo!

That’s 9.36% of my total body weight GONE.

In one of my favorite movies, “Hungry for Change,” they say, “you can get 10 lbs. off your body with sheer force, but you’re going to have to pay it back with interest.”  I’m sure the running helps, but I hope changing to a healthy diet will make most of the difference in the long run.  Diets don’t work.  Revolutionizing my life is working.  Getting mad as hell and deciding that I’m not going to take it anymore has made the difference.  Yesterday I had 3 smoothies which consist of kale, berries and pineapple.  I also had couscous, which is basically pasta, tomatoes with basil and feta cheese, a couple of handfuls of peanut M&Ms, a Taco Bell burrito and a slice of chocolate cake.  I’m not depriving myself, but I’m adding so much healthy living that it’s starting to crowd out the crap.

The goal is under 200 lbs. by Christmas.  I wanted to be 215 by Halloween, and 205 by Thanksgiving.  It’s going to be super tough.  I’d be pretty content at less than 200 by Christmas.  The broader goal is 164 by next July.  And since I’ve gone this far in spelling out my goals, if I am still 164 or less by July 2015, then I get the most elaborate Disney World vacation that money can buy, possibly with a vow renewal ceremony so that I can have pictures in a wedding dress without looking like I ate the entire wedding cake by myself.

Our Wedding 2006

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a change in me

A weird thing happened yesterday while I was singing in the shower.

Well wait, let me back up a bit.  When I got pregnant, my nose became very swollen and my voice got real deep.  I did a little research and tried to mention it to Dr. Wolanski.  This article describes my symptoms exactly and is what I believe that I had.  It’s all over my head, but, as the article mentions, once Bruce came into the world, the symptoms began to subside.

Fast-forward to present day.  My voice never did fully recover from pregnancy.  I can’t tell you how disheartening that has been.  I miss singing with the Disney Princesses.  I look at Bruce and just think, “well, I guess my new Gaston voice was worth it.”  I have always had pretty severe symptoms of what I believe is undiagnosed PCOS: facial hair, abnormal cycles, acne.  I’m 30, why do I still have acne?  I had even felt similar pain to that which I encountered that fateful Black Friday in 2011, but much less severe.  We were at Disney World in 2003.  I just could not get the crampiness to go away and was uncomfortable in every position.  In hindsight, I was playing with fire and should have gone to see a doctor.

Tom and I have taken a whole-body approach to health.  Maybe I could take a hormone to combat what I assume is high levels of testosterone that are producing many of these symptoms.  Or!  Maybe I could feed my body a diet of living, healthy, leafy deep green vegetables.  Maybe I can shrink the fat cells that (I assume) are producing some of the excess hormones that are doing this to me.  I believe Coca-Cola fed Mr. Nasty.  (You know, like the way Hexxus feeds on toxins and poisons in “Ferngully.”)  I believe my body wants to heal itself.  I believe my cells are slowly becoming more alive as I embrace the food that God gave us.

ANYWAY

While I was in the shower yesterday, I got a little frog in my throat while I was singing (badly).  I couldn’t seem to clear it.  I just kept singing (badly).  It felt different.  It sounded different.  Hmm, I wondered…  I tried an oldie but a goodie and suddenly I was singing (badly) along with songs that I haven’t been able to sing (at all) for a couple of years.

I may not know what I’m talking about, but I’m going to pretend that the amount of weight I’ve lost so far is already affecting me in positive ways.  I’m just going to assume this whole thing is slowly but surely beginning to impact my health.

I used to belt this out in the car, and Tom would say, “Dang! You sang the ass off that song!”  I’m not back to that level, but it’s really nice to be able to sing it, period:

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