That La Kid

Guess what I got for Valentine’s Day?!

So, Bruce and I were laying in bed watching e-cards from Gran when I noticed his jammies were wet.  Oh no, so is the blanket.  Dammit, so is the mattress.  So, I scoop him up and change his diaper and plop him in the car seat.  I put the comforter in the wash, take off the sheets… I guess I could have spot cleaned, but I told you guys a long time ago that I hate dirty, nasty, pee pee, poo poo stuff.  On that note…

I did what I could to blot out the pee from the mattress without rubbing it in a whole lot.  I sprayed it with Resolve and just tried to work it out without working it in.  I’m content with my efforts, but will probably have Tom give it a go later anyway.

I grab Bruce.  Because the poor baby is just in a diaper, I head towards his room for clothes– is that poop?!  Did you poop in the diaper that I JUST put on you 5 seconds ago?!  You suck.

I don’t really stand at the changing table and wipe incessantly when he poops.  They’re squishy and slimy, so I dunk him in the sink.  Usually Bruce sits under the running water of the faucet.  Tom thinks it’s weird.  But a little soap and water, BOOM, we’re done.

So, we’re in the sink, loving our mini-bath/bidet.  Thank goodness it wasn’t a whole heck of a lot of poop– AHHH!  What is that?!  Pooping.  In the sink.  Great.  Okay.  Swell.

I’ve got no problem with it until I realize that unlike it’s Bruce-butt-smashed counterpart, diaper poop, sink poop does not go down the sink.  No.  It clogs that sucker right up.

So, now the water is running, Bruce is sitting in a bath of his own yellow poop, and I’m up to my elbows in it, frantically trying to wipe the poop out of the drain with a wipe — because EW, poop! — and geez, I guess it would help if I turn the water off.

FINALLY, I get the drain cleared, and wipe the sink clean and resume soaping Bruce up under the faucet.  What a nightmare that was!  Wait until everyone hears!  Wait until I tell Tom!  Tom is going to think this is so funny!

Man… I don’t think I have ever had this much residue on me.  It’s still all over his butt despite all that rinsing– oh.  That would be because HE IS POOPING AGAIN. 

Filled the sink.  Twice.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!  Enjoy your chocolates!