That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

kind of a good news bad news situation

According to my scale, I’ve lost about 15 lbs. However… my scale isn’t really reading right. I could sway and adjust it. I could shift my feet and lose 10 lbs. We bought a new one, and according to the new scale I am 15 lbs. heavier than I thought I was.

All is not lost. I don’t feel like I’m back at square one. I just wish I knew exactly what my starting point was. I feel leaner. I feel more energetic. My clothes fit differently. The measurement is different, but it doesn’t negate the work. It just means I was starting higher than I thought. The only thing that bugs me is that the old scale was pretty accurate during my pregnancy.

Starting from right here, I’d like to lose 100 lbs. in a year or less.

Geez, exactly how fat was I before?!?!

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fun times

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I forgot to mention that my sweet fella is almost 9 months old! We’re high fiving, kissing and clapping. I’m just amazed by him every day and amazed at how quickly he’s growing. It’s kind if like when I lived in DC. I said out loud “I can’t believe I live here,” on a daily basis because I knew it was fleeting. I miss the tiny newborn that would fall asleep in my arms.

But this little dude is a whole lot of fun!

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Also
this.

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dreams

I’m not saying anything. I’m just saying that it looks like I’m hovering around 235 this morning. I wouldn’t post it if I didn’t believe it was true.

Feeling less and less bloated every day. The Nutribullet and I are getting along really well. Kale every day this week. In an effort to “taste the rainbow” I’m throwing in whatever I can get my hands on: blueberries, grapes, strawberries, watermelon, cantaloupe, and mango so far. And I’m adding about a tablespoon of flax seeds because it’s trendy. Looks gross. Tastes good. Feels amazing.

The trick is forcing myself to eat. I get really excited when I see that I’m a certain weight and I know that after I eat that number will go up. I just want to keep looking at that number. Got to get past that. Ate yesterday, woke up today weighing less. So, there ya’ go.

We even ate out last night and I didn’t run or walk.

I will wog tonight.

I think if I can lose 100 lbs and keep it off for a year I am going to talk Tom into renewing our vows at Disney World. I think that’s an appropriate reward. My goal would be for that to happen in 2 years. It’s just something to think about. Tom said once that he’d never do that as it would diminish our original vows. The second time I brought it up he said, “Yeah, maybe.”

It’s not about the other ones not counting. It’s about a new life and not going back to the fat life.

You know… I think I may have I just talked myself out of it. Imagine the diamond or the vacation I could have for the cost of even a small wedding at WDW. ($8,000 I believe.) I could buy about half of the Disney Vacation Club points that I’ve dreamed of owning for the past 4 or 5 years.

As a side note, I’ve had ridiculous dreams lately. I didn’t write down the one that I had this morning, but it involved my dad’s cousin removing one of my teeth. I was freaking out. I think she was trying to do something in her own mouth. I volunteered to be her guinea pig and next thing i knew she was going for my filling but removing a whole tooth. I was kind of like, “I knew this would happen!” I think because Haley told me that her dentist said she had a cavity, then she got a second opinion that said the first one was bullcrap. Her first dentist sounds suspiciously like my old dentist who diagnosed me with cavities and gave me fillings. I have a lot of anxiety about the fillings lasting my whole life. I just know that they’re going to fall out and my teeth will be ruined.

Woke up this morning with my fist still clutched around my dream teeth. The whole thing may have something to do with watching “Skyfall” the other night.

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i need a better scale

I haven’t lost noticeable pounds. Been working on this for a week and I’m still about the same weight. I think. When I lean on my scale I can fudge the numbers. There is a bit of a caveat. I think last week I was in complete denial about hitting the 250 mark. The past few days I have hovered around 240. (I don’t care if you want to judge me based on those numbers. I mean, I walk around everyday wearing all that weight so it’s not like I can hide it from you.) Anyway, it’s hard to tell. I can report that I feel MUCH less bloated. I’d like o o hardcore for a week or so and see how close I can get to 230. Today I had a bowl of cereal, 2 giant kale leaves, a handful of blueberries, a handful of grapes, and a big ol’ honkin’ bowl of watermelon. It doesn’t sound as good as I feel. I feel like I ate a mountain of kale.

I want to see if I can cure my own (undiagnosed) PCOS. I want to have a pregnancy without gestational diabetes. I want to feel good in my clothes. I want to not get cancer. Do you have any idea how much you can decrease you health risks by increasing your vegetable intake? It’s insane.

Just consider running to McDonald’s Bill Clinton to modern-day vegan Bill Clinton. It’s night and day.

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sipping on kale

I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying that I’m not busting out of my fat pants today.  No significant loss, but I feel good.  No weight or inches lost, but my fat pants are loose again. 

And that’s with just 2 days of “wogging” with a walk in between them.  I think I could do this.  I think I could quietly sip on kale smoothies and work or play with Bruce or watch tv.  I wonder what would happen to my body if I ate a solid foundation of fruits and veggies for the next 7 years.  (I only say that because most of your cells regenerate every 7 years or something, so what if all my regenerating cells were made of spinach and strawberries instead of fries?)

I don’t know if people were meant to run.  I know we can… I am just trying to think of a scenario besides running from a sabor tooth tiger in which my ancestors would have been running 26.2 miles.  Even the tiger wouldn’t have chased them that long.  Who came up with the idea for a marathon?  What a compelling testament to endurance – holy smokes!  Is it a Greek think?  I feel like somebody was running somewhere to tell someone something about a war.  Or something. 

Yeah! 

It is said that he ran the entire distance without stopping and burst into the assembly, exclaiming “νενικηκαμεν’ (nenikekamen)”, (“We wοn”), before collapsing and dying.

COLLAPSING AND DYING.

So why do we do it?

Future Wendy, if you’re reading this: you feel good.  Remember this moment.  Try it again.  I know you succumbed to the cheese fries at Outback and feel gross.  That’s no reason to give up.  Have a (can’t believe I’m buying into it) NutriBlast and keep moving forward.  

We believe in you. 

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this is happening

I wonder if I could make this my life.

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I don’t know if i can do it or not. I just know that I don’t want to be big anymore. Don’t like being jolly or sassy and I want an average sized rowboat to be able to hold me without capsizing.

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since I’m sitting here doing nothing

My arm is asleep.

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But since I’m sitting here doing nothing and I’ve pretty much missed the entire episode of Judge Judy today, I thought that I might as well kill some time and try to wake up my left hand by typing with it on the phone.

Tom recently said, “I wish you loved yourself as much as I love you.” And honestly, I can’t stand myself. I’d never judge anyone else based on their BMI, but I find my own obesity disgusting. It’s weird. I love a lot of fat people, just not the one that greets me at the mirror every morning.

I sound a lot like a racist who’s like, “I have a black friend!”

Anyway. I’m trying to get to a place where I can love myself again. I haven’t told anyone, but I’ve decided that the easiest way to get to that place is to run there. Last night, I went out and bought $140 shoes. I went to a running shop and had my feet measured and arch examined. It really was a pleasant experience. I have a flat foot, for which there was only one option in my choice of light blue or slightly lighter blue. My second toe actually pushed me up half a size, which is a bummer. $140!!!! The last pair of tennis shoes that I bought were $44.99, I think. The ones before that were $13.99 from Walmart.

I took the new shoes for a “wog” last night with Tom. My calves and arches hurt like a mug, but there’s no blisters! So, for me, that’s a breakthrough. I’ll take it. I take sore muscles over exploding flesh any day.

So, here ya’ go. My special shoes. (No wonder Bruce doesn’t have adorable little Asian feet.  I mean, he does, but they are huge on him and getting bigger everyday.)  They’re huge. They’re ugly. They’re expensive. And they’re special.

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I started running in March but quit after the first week. I hope the sticker shock of the new shoes will help keep me motivated. That, and today I registered for the Enchanted 10k at the Disney Princess Half-Marathon Event.

I am not sure how I feel about the Princess being my first race. I think the WDW Marathon might have more meaning or the Dine ‘n Dash one in the fall. Princesses aren’t really my thing.

But I kind of think it’s my destiny.

I don’t think it’s impossible that God wants me to be healthier and happier and stop treating my body like a sugar mill. I’m not ruling out the idea of divine intervention via peer pressure from Danielle. That’s possible? Right?

I’ll be the first to admit that the idea of my fat ass running is laughable. But hopefully my ass won’t be that fat for too long. I wonder what it would be like to wear a medium or at least a large. I wonder how it would feel to not just have to stand there while Mom, Trudy, Haley and Sunny shop for normal people clothes. I wonder how it will feel to see my risk of cancer and heart disease plummet. I wonder if I’ll be able to buy a swimsuit without a skirt on it at some point in my life. I wonder what my great-grandkids will ask me when I’m still alive at 91.

Anyway. The adventure begins!

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had to be on his birthday

Let me tell you about Tom’s birthday and how bad of a wife I am. 

For starters, I decided that I wasn’t going to just apologize at the end of the day, and be all, “Sorry about not getting you a card, or a cake, or a gift.”  I decided I’d run out and get a cake from the Chinese bakery first thing in the morning.  Wouldn’t he be surprised!  I bet he’d be proud, too, “you found your way without me?!” as well as honored, “You did all this for me?!” 

As soon as Bruce was up and at ’em, I got him diapered, dressed, and drinked, then strapped him into his car seat. Alright, keys… keys… I think they’re in the truck.  I opened the garage door, the truck wasn’t there.  The truck, the car seat base, my purse, my money… it was all in the truck in Uptown with Tom.  Fantastic.  

No problem, no problem.  I’ll just take Tom when he gets home.  We hired a babysitter for Bruce for the very first time.  Had to clean up the house, because heaven forbid people see and judge our sloppiness.  (We are sloppy.)  So, Happy Birthday, Tom!  You get to come home and vacuum!  Woo hoo! 

So, we headed out to Grand Asia Market.  Tom said, “I think they’re closed,” as we left the house.  No.  No way, I checked.  They’re open 10 am – 8 pm.  We parked and watched someone walk up to the store, pause, and retreat to their car.  Wtf.  We watched similar processions.  

They WERE closed!  

I do not understand.  The day that I need them… 

Tom was relatively unscathed.  Dinner and a movie?  Tom said that scenario always seemed backwards to him.  You should go to the movie first, so if the date is a complete bust then you can at least talk about the movie over dinner.  The man had a point (although to be fair, how could my date be a bust?). 

Alright, a movie… what movie?  

The Great Gatsby?  That was supposed to be our Mother’s Day date.  We’re going to see that on Friday at the Drive-In.  Iron Man 3?  Sure.  But I probably should have tried to see 1  & 2 first.  Star Trek starts at 7:30 and it’s already 7, so we wouldn’t get out until something after 10, no time for dinner.  We have to try and get the babysitter home at a somewhat decent hour.  “This is the End?”

“What’s that about?”

“That’s the one with EVERYBODY in it.”  

“Oh, yeeeeeah.  That looked funny.”  

“Okay.”  

I thought it was hilarious.  I liked that all the people played themselves.  But, you know, I liked it the way I liked Hot Tub Time Machine, as opposed to the way that I liked The Wedding Singer.  More importantly, Tom would probably have much rather seen any of the other aforementioned flicks.  

When the movie was over, we decided we should probably get something semi-quick.  Tom mentioned Wendy’s, but we had a late Burger King lunch so I wasn’t feeling it.  We were going to go to this place called Cantina 1511 that we love.  It’s a dressed up Mexican and Tex-Mex restaurant.  It was already 9:15.  We didn’t have a whole lot of time…  We like Boneheads.  We could eat outside.  That could be good.  Nice.  Romantic.  Quick.  Okay, Boneheads it is.  

Boneheads was closed.  Not closed, but closing.  They close at 10.  Tom walked in and instead of ordering, he said, “are you guys open?”  They said, “uh, not rea– sort of.  The grills are already shut down but if you want something fried…” 

Okay, let’s just take the babysitter home and go to the Mid-Night Diner.  

Tom got lost on the way to the babysitter’s house.  So, when we finally got to Uptown it was 10:30, pushing 11.  There was no parking at the diner.  Surely there’s something in Charlotte, maybe something we’ve never had before.  

There wasn’t. 

Everything was closed.  Everything.  

Ooh, except a bakery.  We found a 24 hour bakery.  Tom, Bruce and I went in and I said, “It’s his birthday, we need to get this guy a cake.”  Bakery dude told us what his favorites were and sold us on a lemon cake.  

“Let me just check in the back.” 

Guess what? 

No effing lemon cake in the back.  

Great.  Wonderful.  Fantastic.  We settled for a slice each.  

We continued to drive around in search of not-fast food, but since it was already 11:30 we settled for the first “Open 24 Hours” sign we saw.  It was a place called Skyland.  It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t scream birthday celebration.  Oh, and icing on the cake, pun intended, was that as soon as Tom went into Skyland to order take-out, Bruce decided he was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore and that he’d just scream bloody murder until we got home.  A solid 30 minutes of inconsolable tantrum.  

So, my plan was Tom’s favorite dessert waiting for him, a card, a present, romantic dinner and a movie, come home to a sleeping Bruce and fall asleep in each other’s arms.  

Movie tickets were $21 for two people.  Add the babysitter, and our date cost $51.  Fifty bucks to see an okay movie.  

Tom doesn’t see it that way.  He really enjoyed his late-night Philly Cheesesteak.  Mine was okay.  He thought the movie was funny.  He got a slice of really good cake.  

I hate it.  Last year we didn’t do anything.  This year didn’t live up to my expectations at all. I just feel like a terrible wife.  He left the truck for me today, “just in case,” he says.  So, what does that mean?  He expects a card tonight?  It’s too late.  I already sucked.  Forget it.  Plus, I am behind in freelance stuff, so, yeah… looks like a belated e-card kind of year.  Pathetic. 

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food lion

So, there are these commercials, and I don’t know if it’s just in my area or not, but some guy takes people into Walmart with their Harris Teeter or Food Lion or whatever receipt and proves that Walmart’s prices are lower. To retaliate, Food Lion started running a commercial in which a woman and her son are in the toy department at Walmart and she asks an employee for maple syrup. He makes a call and the call goes from toys to clothes to electronics and eventually he directs her to the pharmacy for cough syrup and the spot ends with the tag line, “Don’t get the Walmart run around.”

Are you kidding? Okay, for starters, thank you for illustrating that I can get a bike, a shirt, a big screen tv, cough syrup and maple syrup in one place and secondly HOW DUMB IS THIS WOMAN? “Golly, I’m such a buffoon I just can’t figure out which aisle has the syrup…” Go back to Food Lion, you freaking idiot. How are you so far gone that you’re in the toy department anyway?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You and Food Lion deserve each other.

I appreciate that Walmart commercials serve to improve their brand image. (See peopleofwalmart.com)

Thanks Food Lion, but your stores are still ghetto and apparently I’d have to be an idiot to shop there.

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