I hurt somebody’s feelings on Facebook. And they think I’m a cyber bully. I don’t wanna be that person. So, I penned an email to them, but I may never hit send. It might just be one of those things that I had to get out of my system.
Backstory: They posted a Facebook Live video while operating an automobile. That’s it.
I wish that I had screenshot my response so that you’d have the full picture. It really wasn’t negative, because you attract more bees with honey than vinegar. (Does vinegar attract any bees?) But people interpret the things that we type with their own biases, and based on how they feel at the time. She was obviously feeling defensive.
I told her that it would be smart to go home and get on her wifi, as she had already indicated was her plan. Because I knew the stereotypical rebuttal would undoubtedly be, “I was using a hands-free device,” I quoted, and said that I was quoting, Ellen Degeneres’ line, “If you need both your hands for something, your brain should be in on it, too.” And I said, basically, “sorry, not sorry. I’m unapologetically rigid on this, as we all should be.”
(Side note, that is from a stand-up routine that my sister bought on dvd like a decade ago, why are we still having this conversation?! I just Googled it, the program is “Here and Now,” 2003! And she wasn’t referring to texting, she was referring to headset phones, which I think just bolsters my case. Ellen is specifically referencing a hands-free device!)
So, the person that I offended posted another live video, safely at home, condemning bullies. I reference that video a bunch in the email, so I hope you are roughly able to follow along without seeing the literal context. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, she says, and if you want to approach her with a concern, then fine, do that. It’s just THE WAY some of us went about it that bugs her. Because we didn’t disagree with her and maintain a sunshine and lollipops disposition, she’s taken issue.
But I mean, really, we’ve fostered this culture of, “agree with me or GTFO.” So, who really wants to hear a difference of opinion at all anyway? Let’s be honest.
I don’t know. I thought I was perfectly pleasant. Stern, serious. But not upset, not at all vicious. (I MEAN I CAN BE IF WE WANT TO GO THERE.) This is not a sunshine and lollipops topic. This is a GET OFF THE PHONE, YOU ARE DRIVING! topic. This is not merely a matter of differing opinions! She is literally risking lives to chit-chat on her way home from Starbucks!
Anyway.
Here’s my email.
So, here we go. Here’s my constructive argument since you took what I said about using one’s brain COMPLETELY out of context.
I’m absolutely aghast at your response to criticism over your driving while on Facebook. If you’re feeling defensive, I think that deserves a little bit of introspection. Why does it break your heart that people disagree with you? Why IS this a hot button topic?
It seems you’re not aware of how horrifyingly dangerous distractions like that are while driving. It’s not an opinion that it is dangerous, it’s a fact.
Texting and driving is 6 times more likely to get you in an accident than drunk driving.
You said that you totally understand the dangers in one sentence, but then the next you said that you wait for a red light to check comments, which indicates that you absolutely DO NOT GET IT.
You conveyed in the newest live that you ARE aware, and that you totally understand, “that people get killed and stuff like that.” Then Lord Almighty, why on earth would you do it?! Why are you waiting until someone you know personally is affected or killed to take a stance? (I’m not!)
The simple solution, really, rather than a rallying cry that “everyone is entitled to an opinion,” is to just admit the goof, apologize and not do it. You shouldn’t feel like a scolded child, shake it off and admit it wasn’t smart. You didn’t think about it before. Next time you will. That’s it. So simple.
For the record, there IS a difference between operating a palm sized computer while driving, even hands-free, and talking to your passenger.
It’s not a matter of your hands and eyes being on the wheel and road respectively. And as I see it, it’s not a keyboard only issue, or texting specific. Distracted driving is anything that takes your attention away from the road. You are driving a lethal weapon, and it deserves your complete focus and undivided attention. Your brain should be completely and fully committed to the operation of the 2 ton mass of steel hurdling down the road. It’s also not a matter of your opinion on what you feel is safe enough for YOU. You are physically sharing the road with me! YOU. ARE. PUTTING. MY. LIFE. IN. DANGER.
How stern is too stern? How harsh is too harsh? How do I contain myself when she’s literally putting my life on the line? She’s not alone on the road. Any one of us can and do make totally stupid mistakes while driving completely unencumbered! Why. Why add additional risk factors?
Anyway, I wasn’t being a bully. Being right doesn’t make me a bully! If I were being a bully, I would’ve said, “Not only does selfie broadcast FacebookLive-streaming while driving make you look like a stereotype attention-seeking millennial, and stereotype bad female driver (thanks for that), IT ALSO makes you look like a fucking idiot.”
That La Kid 
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