That La Kid

Ten weeks.  Doesn’t feel real.  I don’t really notice that prune-sized thing in there.  Feels like we still have FOREVER to go and no time has really passed.

Well, by the time we pass 10 weeks again – no big deal, right? – we’ll be dealing with this:

Personally, I cannot wait until week 37 or so… officially replacing the other watermelon.

It’s the principal of the thing.

Although for the record… no baby will best Mr. Nasty in size.

So… Dad’s booking a cruise, or at least he’s talking about booking a cruise in January 2013 for the family.  Wow.  I’ll have a baby by then!  I said, “Sure, Dad.  Sounds good.  We can put the baby in Flounder’s Reef while we do stuff.”  And he said, “Yeah, but you’re not going to want to do that.”

I guess he knows a lot more about parenting than I do.  I guess.  I don’t see myself wanting to sit in an auditorium or even on the beach with a crying baby.

I have no real desire to take an infant to Disney World.  I feel like it’ll be more of a necessary evil when it happens (and I know it will happen).  We’ll be going, no sitter… we’ll have to take it.  Tom and I are thinking 4 is a good age for a kid to wrap their brain around the stuff they’re seeing.  Although, I went when I was 3 and that panned out pretty well.

Just out of curiosity, I started following a blog about Disney with Babies (why not – everything I do is Disney… might as well see what the people are saying about Disney with babies).  I read a post today that kind of shocked me a little bit.  I’ll go as far as to say that I found it disturbing.

Here it is.  Give it a once over.

UM, HELLO?  Am I the only one who finds using the Carousel of Progress as a changing station disgusting?  I can hear the Cast Member now, “For the comfort of those around you, please refrain from eating, drinking, smoking, flash photography, video recordings of any kind, and oh yeah, NO CHANGING DIAPERS IN HERE.”

She also mentions Haunted Mansion as a good place for nursing.  Really?  Really.  I guess it is dark, and people may not be looking at you in your doom buggy but it’s hardly private.  I don’t get why all these women are all about whipping out their breast in the middle of the park.  It’s nature.  It’s the way it’s supposed to be.  I get it.  I just don’t like the kind of push, you know?  Like, as if they’re not just feeding their kid, they MUST prove a point.  (I can picture it now, as we all gather around Madame Leota… I look across the seance table and you’ve created an awkward turtle for the whole room.)  Anyway.  No, I don’t expect to feed my baby in the bathroom, that’s crazy, but there’s no eating or drinking on the rides for the rest of us, sooo…

Like I said, I don’t have a kid yet.  I don’t understand.  I don’t understand why you think I want to smell your kids’ poop or be distracted by what’s going on over there around you.  It’s a show, not a rest room. Sit quietly in your seat and enjoy the show – and let me enjoy it, too!

I don’t understand it when the person in front of me in the Kilimanjaro Safari line is told to bring his stroller into the stroller parking lot, collect his kid and jump back in line, and the guy slings a swear word at my dad when Dad says, “Excuse me,” because the guy’s trying to unload his camera/diaper bag/child right there in the middle of the line.  Could Dad be more patient?  Sure.  But Disney has a system.  They’ve got it all figured out and they’re very nice about it.  “Please sir, if you’ll just step out of line and park your stroller, then you can hop right back in.”  No.  I’m just going to stand right here and make all these people wait for me and my family.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, DUDE?  How can people be SO inconsiderate?!

What?  You think I am being inconsiderate of you and your baby?  It pisses me off that people think this stuff is okay.  (And apparently they think enough of themselves to instruct others to follow in their footsteps.)  It makes me mad that they think blocking traffic, and changing diapers in the middle of the line for Soarin’ (true life) is a cool thing to do.  My parents did the stroller thing.  You know what?  They moved out of the way of traffic when they were told to, they changed us in the restroom, and they nursed us in privacy.  Now that the kids are adults, we’re free to roam the theme parks without the inconvenience of a baby – especially YOUR baby.  When I have this kid, I will not be whipping my boob out on any theme park attraction.

Just got back from our One More Disney Day trip, which really WAS one more getaway, one last getaway for us before we can’t get away so easily anymore.  Does that blow your mind like it blows mine?  With each mile that brought us closer to Charlotte last night, this whole being parents thing got more real.  Haley and Sunny just got to Florida for spring break.  My mom and her sisters went to Disney World last spring, and Trudy and Dee Dee are headed back to join the “kids” (who are now 20, 21, and 26) at the end of this week.  I’m jealous.  Not just because I know they’ll have amazing times and inside jokes (party of one) that I won’t understand, but because this time next year I’ll have a 4 or 5 month old infant to worry about.

I constantly catch myself thinking off all the things that I won’t be doing and it makes me mad.  Mad that I am focusing on that stuff and forgetting to think about the important stuff.

There are some awesome things coming my way.  Showers, and attention and oh yeah – TOM AND I MADE A PERSON!!!!

It kind of reminds me of a conversation that I had with Mom before we knew I was pregnant.  I asked if she’s come to Florida in December if we got knocked up.  She said, “why?”  And I told her so she could babysit.  She said she could just do that at home in Virginia.  I said, “Well, that’s no fun.  We’ll be in Disney World…” and she said something like, “Yeah, but I’ll have a BABY!”

So, there’s that.

We had a really meaningful and heartfelt conversation in Florida.  I told Tom that I am so in love with the part of this thing that is him.  He said he felt the same way about the part of it that’s me.  It was this big gross love-fest that left us both in tears.  Good times.

—

Man, oh man!  Did we ever go nuts on this trip!  Whatever I wanted, it was “sure, babe.”  “Of course.”  “Anything for you!”  It turned into a joke.  We went camping to save money, but spent so much that it just turned into, “Sure.  Why not?  We’ve spent this much… what difference will it make?”

It was a much slower trip than usual.  I gave Space Mountain and Splash Mountain a shot, but after that I didn’t press my luck with Tower of Terror, Rockin’ Roller Coaster, Star Tours, Mission Space, Test Track, Dinosaur, or Primeval Whirl.  We actually tried to get on Dinosaur, but folks were flooding out through the entrance; so we’re thinking the ride was down.  Aaaaanyway…

We spent Tuesday night, the 28th, through Friday night at Fort Wilderness… camping.  What do you think of when you think camping?  S’mores, right?  Campfires?  Sitting around in camping chairs?  Yeah, me too.  I also think of people.  Dad.  Camping for 2 was weird.  Quiet.  Lonely.  Of course, I wanted to be in the theme parks as much as possible, and it was 90 degrees outside.  So, sadly, we were only back at the tent overnight.

I saw a forecast for rain over the weekend, so I put in a call to Dad to see if he could find anything with DVC for us for our last night.  I think either way, we weren’t going to camp in the rain.  I really didn’t want to try to pack up a wet tent, so it was either DVC or International Drive.  Fortunately, Popa Glenn came through for us in a big way.  We had a great room on the top floor of The Grandstands at Saratoga Springs.  We were right by the elevator and had a beautiful water/golf course view.  AND we were across the parking lot from a very open-’til-midnight and not-crowded-at-all pool.  Color me excited.

I had an epiphany on Saturday night.  Maybe I’m not a themeparksthemeparksthemeparks person anymore.  Maybe I’m a, “Dang, this resort is nice!” girl.  We had a really good time at Saratoga Springs.  We got into our room at 11, returned the tent to WalMart and went to Animal Kingdom.  It was crowded and there’s a disclaimer beside almost every ride that says, “Expectant Mothers Should Not Ride.”  So we saw, “It’s Tough to be a Bug” and went back to the hotel.  I slept (hey, pregnant!) and Tom went to Walmart and bought me a bathing suit.  (I told you, “Sure, babe!  Anything for you!”)  We went swimming for a couple of hours and then prince handsome-pants and I went to the food court and brought flatbreads, sandwiches, and salads back to our room.

The next morning, he brought me breakfast in bed.  We packed, rode a bus Downtown and waited for MY SISTERS!!!!! and Sunny Michelle to come have lunch with us!!!!!!   We’d had a back and forth with Lindsay all week about her coming up or us going down to Vero.  Finally, on Sunday morning we got a text from her that said, “Alright, I’m coming.  We’re going to have lunch at Turf Club and I can’t stay long but I’m coming because I love you!”  That was special.  That was a big huge hairy deal.

I feel old.  You know?  When I was 10 and my parents were in their mid-30s, they let Lindsay and I go to the theme parks on our own.  I didn’t understand until last Saturday night how they could do something like that.  The resorts are nice, too.  And you pay good money for the privilege of sleeping there – you might as well take advantage of the pools, activities and atmosphere.  It felt like a real vacation.  People always ask me why we just go to Disney World and never do anything else.  My answer has always been, “Soarin’, Splash Mountain, Dinosaur, Illuminations, Wishes, Fantasmic…” but now I feel like I can also say it’s because I love the resorts.  When I think about it, a lot of my favorite memories have nothing to do with the parks.  Every year we celebrate our anniversary at California Grill at the Contemporary Resort.  Last December we had Artists’ Pointe delivered to our room and Tom wheeled me down to watch the Electrical Water Pageant.  Tom, Reggie and I got in the hot tub in our underwear when we were in college.  One day last week, Tom and I sauntered around Fort Wilderness, saw a bunch of horses, and had lunch at Trail’s End.

It was such a good trip!!!  We closed the Newlywed chapter of our lives.  And now… we start writing that parenthood part…

I’ve been queasy for weeks.  But hey, no actual throwing up, so overall I was pretty enthusiastic.  Also, like I said, I’ve been cautiously optimistic about this whole thing from the beginning.  I’ve had symptoms before that turned out to be my imagination.  (Hysterical pregnancy, much?)

But of course, 5 minutes before we’re supposed to walk out the door to drive to Florida for One More Disney Day…

…I throw up.

Man.  This is going to be a fun 8 hour drive.  I want to call my mom.  This pregnancy thing gets more real every day.  I’m not all that upset about being sick.  it tickles me to death that this might be the real thing!

I don’t know what a panic attack feels like, but I would imagine it was similar to something I experienced overnight.  Let me say, first, that it really has nothing to do with what I was feeling panicked about and more to with just straight up anxiety.  The whole time I’m just telling myself, “alright, this makes no sense – reel it in.”  It’s an interesting phenomenon.  It’s interesting that my body would react physiologically but not logically.

For the record, it was regarding camping at Disney.  I just don’t know if it’s for me.  But, like I said, I’m not so concerned with what I was worried about.  That really has nothing to do with it.  People worry all the time, but not to the extent where they feel shortness of breath and can’t stop crying.  My face and neck became hot and flushed.  I am a worrier.  That’s just how I roll.  But it’s never taken such a toll on me physically.  I wonder if everything is heightened because of being pregnant, or if this is some kind of new Wendy development that I will have to start living with.

No me gusta.

I went downstairs, because it’s cooler down there.  I laid on the couch and turned on “Behind the Scenes at Walt Disney World” and the whole episode subsided in about 20 minutes.  Later, in the wee hours of the morning, Tom came down and laid beside me and restarted the movie.  I was already asleep by then, but I sat up for a few minutes then nodded off to the movie again.  It was nice.  He’s nice.  I like him.

Six weeks and five days into being pregnant, I’m already very aware that there is a demanding child inside me.  I can’t control the timing on anything my body does and I’m blaming 100% of it on the kiddo.  Eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom… it all seems to be occurring on someone else’s schedule.  And when we’re doing it – WE’RE DOING IT.  There’s no debate.  I don’t get a little rumble in my stomach – I’M STARVING.  Must.  Eat.  And when it comes to the potty – there’s no holding it.  (Of course when I actually get in the bathroom, there’s barely anything to show for all the anticipation.)  The sleeping thing is very similar to what I think narcolepsy must be like.  Watching Judge Judy folding some laundry in the living room one second, the next: ZZZZZZZZ.

It’s all very interesting.

And holy balls, if it’s this demanding now – while it’s only the size of a pea – how the heck am I going to deal when it’s 16?!

Also… funny story.  I followed Tom home from Charlottesville in our new 4Runner last night.  I was scanning the radio and happened to catch “Hold On Loosely” from the beginning.  So, I’m jamming out and thinking about how awesome .38 Special was that one time I saw them in concert with my D.o.D… and I remembered they perform at Epcot every year near Dad’s birthday.  We should go!  Dang!  I should just make the decision that even if it’s a weekday – I’m going.  Crap.  Dad’s bday is Oct. 21.  Kiddo is due mid-October.

DDDAAANNNGGG IIITTT!!!!!!!!!

Already this kid is wreaking havoc on my social life.