last night
EXT: Africa. Daytime, in the middle of genocide
We’re running alongside a river, and a man wearing lots of guns runs out of the woods. We’re terrified, but he is shot, and collapses. We walk past him into the cover of the woods and eventually find a huge tree. The tree is almost magical, and reminds me of a book that I read once. (Although being awake, I have no idea what book I was thinking about.) There is a grizzly old man standing by the tree. He motions for us to climb it. I am surprised by how easily I’m able to get up. The trunk of the tree is huge, like a house. Once I get near the top, I can’t see any of the branches that I used to climb up, and have no way of getting down.
Before I know it, they need the tree for something, so they’re cutting it down. I wasn’t as devastated in my dream as I am now reflecting on it. I just waited and kept crying about not being able to get down. Eventually, I fell out of the tree, but I wasn’t as high up as I thought I was at that point and it didn’t hurt. Wasn’t much of a fall, really. Just a plop – and oh, I’m down.
I have a collection of things like flowers and leaves that I want to make rubbings of in my sketchbook and press to use later. There are other things that I wanted to make rubbings of that make no sense, like a razor blade, or piece of thin metal and I think a bicycle chain. I asked Tom to get my sketchbook and he walked away, leaving me with the old man and an old woman.
I felt very much like a child through the whole dream, at least, from the part where I saw the tree. Before that, I was some kind of rebel, almost a secret agent. I feel like I can’t describe it enough. The actual dream was much longer and more intense than this short description of it.
scared
As terrified as I am about this whole thing, most people I know that have done it have done it more than once. If it were that awful, no one would have two. Right? RIGHT?!?!
welcome! bienvenida! 歡迎! willkommen!
You’re here. So, I reckon you’ve heard the good news. We’re knocked up! We’re going to be a bona-fide family come this October! I’m going to be somebody’s mama. How crazy is that?! Welcome! Thanks for stopping by! Take a look around!
Be sure to click the blue tabs over there ———————————————————————>
“Our Story” is really the beginning. It also has a ticker so you can track That La Kid’s progress. I’ve been working on a registry. (Too soon? Yeah, well, it was already a work in progress for about 9 months BEFORE we got pregnant.) And since everyone seems to have input on the name game, there’s a section for that, too. Finally, just because every other baby website seems to have one, there’s also a guest book. Sometimes it even writes back.
This here main page is the blog. Please visit often and comment frequently (and at length whenever possible). I’m selfish. I like the attention. It’s tough being 4 hours from the people who love you and who’ve got your back. I know a lot of you have been praying with us for a number of years and I hope the mileage won’t stop us from sharing this experience.
Some things are password protected, but that’s for your safety – generally to protect people who’re afraid of TMI (*cough* HALEY *cough*). If you’re interested in reading this blog with reckless abandon and you’re not afraid to hear about sex, drugs and rock and roll, the password is wushu. Let this be your warning: sometimes it’s gross.
The few folks who’ve already seen that tiny blurb of a kid thought it was just another picture of Mr. Nasty. It is not. Mr. Nasty was HUGE. The distance from yellow mark to yellow mark here is less than 5 cm (although this picture was taken 2 weeks ago). This thing has a head, arms, hands, legs and feet! Looky there! We replaced the tumor with a little parasite. AND we did it on the first try. (I’m really proud of that, so you may hear it a lot.)
As of today, I am 14 weeks – and finally out of my first trimester!
Kiddo is due on October 7, 2012 – the Year of the Dragon!!
I was just thinking about that little thing wiggling on the ultrasound and something occurred to me…
I’m having a baby.
Like, it might ACTUALLY pan out. Not might… it probably WILL pan out. More likely than not… unless something terrible happens… we’re really going to be parents by Halloween.
Generally, I am of the mindset that we could have this baby. Very seldom do I really feel like we will have this baby. But today, thinking about that ultrasound, I had a will moment.
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I can’t decide whether to register at Target or Babies R Us. Here’s the thing, we registered at Target when we got married. Since then, I’ve been on a crusade to save my cousins (and eventually sisters) from making the same mistake. If I had it to do over again, it would be Crate and Barrel all the way. So naturally, when it came to registering for this baby, I went to Land of Nod. But the funny thing is, if you aren’t interested in $700 cribs and you already have your crib bedding (vintage Mickey Mouse), they don’t offer much that I wasn’t able to find at, you guessed it, Target. The same Puj tub, the same BabyBjorn travel crib, the same Skip Hop Hare Comb and Brush Kit…
The stroller we like is at Target. I honestly don’t know of anything Babies R Us has that Target doesn’t, but it’d be fun to shop there. BUT – my main argument when I tell brides not to register at Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target is “don’t pick a place just because your guests like to shop there. Get what you love – from a store YOU like.”
So, I don’t know… I’m open to suggestion. I don’t really want to fool with a bunch of crap. I mostly want to register for the crucial items, and not fill the registry with a bunch of cutesy crap that will distract people from investing in what we really need.
i hate those dreams
Have you ever had that dream where you just can’t find a bathroom? Or once you find it, you can’t get any privacy?
Last night, I was at Olive Garden with Mom, Dad, Dee Dee and Trudy. Mom, Dee Dee, Trudy and I all got up to go to the bathroom after we ordered. My stall didn’t have a door on it. People kept coming in and I was afraid to get up. (I forgot a little bit about bathroom attempt number 1 after I woke up.)
I went to the Capitol in a wheelchair to try and find a better bathroom. I found really nice bathrooms, and settled on a toilet that was one of four in a big open area. At one point, a shower across from me turned on and started spraying water in my face. I yelled for somebody, anybody, to come turn off the water. A little boy came and turned it off. Men kept coming in the Ladies’ Room. Every time I thought I was safe, a new group of men would walk in and I’d yell, “This is the girls’ bathroom!! WTF!!” There was a little girl playing with a race car at the entrance, so they thought naturally that it was a little boy and that this was the Mens’ Room.
I went back to Olive Garden to try my luck again there. Mom, Dee Dee and Trudy all came back in to check on me. I thought that I was in a stall, but my stall had no door or walls. I looked at Trudy and Dee Dee and said, “so you can see me? Everything?” Trudy said, “Uhhhh, yeah!” Some cleaning lady asked if I was through so she could clean, but Mom sent her away. Before I know it, Mom’s rolling out tp for me, while some guy watches again. I ran to another stall, not only was I in this awkward “I’ve been trying to poop for 4 hours” mode, but I was also running around the bathroom naked, dodging cleaning ladies left and right.
Eventually I was rescued from my torture by waking up. SO RELIEVED – psychologically and physically. I didn’t even have to go – which is usually the case with those dreams, especially for a pregnant lady. I HATE those dreams.
bad dreams
As of tomorrow, we’ll be 10 weeks pregnant. Geez, that really doesn’t feel like a lot of weeks. It’s interesting, because the last time I went this long without a period (September ’11), we scheduled a doctor’s appointment to officially confirm pregnancy and while I waited for Tom to come home from work and take me to the appointment, George showed up.
I remember thinking, “is this what a miscarriage feels like?” It didn’t feel like much of anything, just overwhelming sadness at losing the fantasy I had created in my mind. I laid on the couch with my legs up on the back cushions and just prayed and prayed for God to not take this away from me.
I know, right? Pathetic. Take what from you? Your hysterical pregnancy? Your delirium? YOUR GARGANTUAN CYST?! In hindsight, I was like a teenager who thinks her parents don’t know anything. God’s been around the block – he knows what he’s doing. I was NOT pregnant… but something needed to be done about that watermelon, Mr. Nasty Potroast McGrosserton.
Fast forward to last night.
I had a dream that I was bleeding. My reaction was just, “Oh, wonderful. Here we go again.” Why would I expect otherwise? Why did I think it would actually work out this time? In the dream, Dad and I were driving north on 29 through Ruckersville, and I remember debating whether or not to tell him what was happening. I was debating on whether or not to go to a doctor. It didn’t feel like I was losing a baby, it just felt like I had been wrong all along.
Then I woke up.
I was devastated. Because in THIS universe, I DO have a positive pregnancy test. In this world, a doctor told me, “Congratulations!” So for a second there, my dream overlapped with real life. For a second, I thought I lost a baby that I often forget I really am carrying.
I looked around the room and saw prenatal vitamins on the nightstand. The positive EPT is still on the bathroom counter. Wait. What? Where am I? I’m at home. Period? No. Baby? Yes!
Weeeeird, huh? Kind of an eerie anniversary. It’s almost like, “Remember? Last time you only made it this far.” This time we’re going all the way.
HA!
When we were in Florida on Honeymoon.5, Tom started chattin’ it up with a couple of strangers on the ferry back to the TTC from Magic Kingdom. They had the bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears, and WE had the bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears. They had matching Santa tshirts, we were wearing our matching “I love my husband/wife” shirts. It was like Bizarro Tom and Wendy – except not the opposite. I don’t know what you would call that. I told the girl it was like we were talking to ourselves. They were even staying at the same hotel. (Okay, we had actually stayed on-property but added a night at the Marriott… and THEY were staying at the same Marriott. Weeeird.)
So, they told us their room number at the hotel. Ballsy. We called and left them a voicemail. Also ballsy. We didn’t meet up with them again that trip, but Tom and the guy exchanged emails, then friended each other on facebook… then I friended the girl… so now we’re like besties, that have only had one face to face meeting that lasted about 20 minutes.
They are Alyssa and Michael from Texas. There are many obvious similarities and a lot of quirky random stuff. Alyssa and I BOTH have a habit of stockpiling baby items for no apparent reason. Alright, well, NOW I have a reason, but she doesn’t know that.
Today I got this!
Soooooo awesome!!!
I posted this picture on facebook. Immediately, I thought – shit I should take this down. People are going to suspect. But then again, Alyssa doesn’t know that I’m pregnant, she just thinks I’m crazy like her.
But the comments…
What are the odds? I’m not giving it away! Alyssa doesn’t know – and she sent me the stuff with the understanding that we’re just trying.
On a separate note:
So, Tom was talking about trying Ohana at the Polynesian Resort next week… I was looking up reservations online and the only date that they have available is the day we arrive, and we’re planning on firing up the grill that day. Tom said, “let’s talk about it,” but then we forgot to talk about it so I posted this on his facebook wall:
That’s TWO different instances on one day which were completely innocent but were perceived as “I’M PREGNANT!”
Weeeeeeeird. And hilarious – because I am.
Do you think I am protesting too much? Could they be on to me? I thought Haley was on to me – but she says that she had no idea…
You know, if I WASN’T pregnant… this would be REALLY annoying. I got really mad at Thanksgiving because everyone kept telling me to have a baby. And it was like, WOULD IF I COULD. We were trying SOOOOO hard and my heart broke every month when my period showed up.
ok here’s the thing about the diapers…
I feel like I can feel people whispering about me, being a brand new mama, not knowing what the heck I’m doing with this whole cloth diapering thing. “What?! Is she crazy?! Look how far technology has come with diapering! She HATES germs and poop! This is going to be a disaster!”
No, it’s not. Here’s my reasoning:
1. NUMERO UNO… Despite the added cost of doing laundry (detergent, water, electricity) and the fact that I’m going for one of the more expensive kinds of cloth diapers (All-In-Ones), cloth diapering costs 30-50% less than disposables. I’m all about the Benjamins. It’s all about saving money for getting out of debt, retirement, and now a college fund.
2. The poop is coming either way. I’m going to have to deal with it. Instead of tossing it in the landfill like the rest of you irresponsible dirt-bags, we’re flushing it. There’ll still be smelling poop, and wiping poop, and occasionally getting poop on me. I hate it, but it’s happening either way.
3. I’ve done a lot of research on research. I’ve read story after story about impartial, objective investigators that wanted to see what the fuss was all about, tried cloth out and never went back to disposables. Even when I Googled “why I switched to disposable diapers” I couldn’t find anyone who tried cloth, hated it and reverted back to their old ways. If it’s happening, those people aren’t writing about it. People who like cloth diapers LOVE cloth diapers.
4. I’m not entering absorbancy contests. I’m not trying to see how much crap the diaper can hold. I hear disposables hold a lot, that modern technology has made them downright miraculous. That not my M.O. When that bad boy is dirty, I’m changing it. Pee… poop… whatever.
5. These aren’t your grandma’s fold and pin diapers. They are actually really absorbent and really cool. They work like disposables, that shape and everything. They are freakin’ adorable. I can’t lie, it does come into play. BUT IT’S FIFTH ON MY LIST!
You know what’s not on my list? Environmentalism – because I really don’t care about that. FYI, it is much more eco-friendly… and if that’s a reason for you to pick up something from my diaper registry, awesome. We both know you’re doing a good thing. Good for you. You’re a better person than I am. I’m all about the Benjamins.
That La Kid 