That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

nurses

on January 23, 2013

Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I’ve got nothing against nurses, and I agree their job is a tough one.  My cousin Amy is a nurse.  She worked really hard to get there, and works a whole lot now that she has made it.

That said…

Have you ever seen anyone toot their own horn as much as your nurse friends do, like, on facebook?  I guess people say a lot about teachers, but the teachers themselves remain inherently modest.  What IS IT with nurses?

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That is what put me over the edge today.   Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.  Memory of an elephant?  Really?  Because I have told you 7 times that my pain is at a level 8, and you keep saying, “okay, let me go check with your doctor.”  I guess that guy is tough to wrestle down.  When we were in the hospital with Bruce, we were constantly reminding the nurses when we needed something.  I brought a breast pump from home because pumping is something that MUST be done on time or you risk ruining the whole thing.  I could not risk waiting on a nurse to find a hospital breast pump.  So, memory of a human, I would say.  As for an angel’s patience, I can’t really argue with that.  It’s a job that I could never do.  I completely lack the people skills.  But not everyone is like me.  I couldn’t be a waitress either.  But waitresses and nurses are compensated for doing their job.  Many of them can’t draw like I can, or use a camera, or set up studio lights.  And I am fairly compensated for that.  Does anyone remember Nurse Austin?  I would hardly call his patience divine, would hardly say his heart was “as big as the sun.”

I would say that he followed protocol.  “Well, we can’t let you leave until you eat.”  “Alright, but when I eat, I throw up.”  “Well, we can’t let you leave until you eat.”  I wanted fruit, and he wouldn’t give me fruit.  He just gave me bread.  And I threw it up.  The overnight nurse let me order fruit for breakfast and guess what – I walked out of there that afternoon.  Yeah.  Maybe m’body knows what m’body needs, even if YOU think the acid in the fruit will upset my stomach more.

I realize nurses are waist-deep in blood, vomit, urine and shit sometimes.  Did they not anticipate that going in?  They didn’t teach ya’ that in nursing school?  How about the long hours?  Were you not aware that someone works overnight in hospitals?  Are you really surprised that patients in a hospital are sick, cranky, and puking left and right? I get that the job is hard, I get that.  I’m just saying they knew that going in and still signed up for it.

I see these things all the time about how unappreciated nurses are.  Yeah?  Well, Monday, May 6 is Nurses Day.  There is no such thing as Graphic Designers Day or Video Producers Day.  (We just get this, http://clientsfromhell.net/.)  Oh, but my job doesn’t necessitate a day of appreciation.  I don’t know how difficult it is to be a nurse.  Okay.  Fair enough.  But you never hear about Firefighters Day or Doctors Day (although I was surprised to learn they do exist).

You know why “they say it’s an easy profession?” (Although, I don’t think “they” do.)  Because when “they” are in the hospital, they get their vein blown 3 times before someone (in this case, my dad – guess what, not a nurse!) is able to do it correctly.  Because “they” see you come in, take their blood pressure, ask if they need anything and then leave, promising to bring them that cup of ice.  And then “they” don’t see you again for 2 hours.

The only thing worse than the way nurses talk about how awesome they are is moms.  OH MY GOOOOSH, Moms!  “I’m a nurse (ha!), chauffeur, counselor, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, event planner, personal assistant, ATM…”  No.  You’re a mom.  Shut up.

Holy crap, this person gets me: http://www.parentwin.com/2012/01/just-mom-yes-just-mom-facebook-just-mom.html

Couldn’t have said it better myself.  In the same vein, doing all the nurse-stuff with awesomeness doesn’t make you an angel.  It makes you a really good nurse.

ImageIs it really all that indignant to bathe a patient?  How is that supposed to make the non-nursing world feel, as patients?  Aaaand, it kind of is about the pills and the charting.

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Or… Labrador Retriever.

 ImageSo, no chance I can speak to the doctor who will be performing the surgery? You know, the one who went to medical school for 8 years?

ImageOk, well in that case forget this entire post. 

***Just to reiterate, in case Amy is reading, this is not about the dedicated nurses who quietly go along doing their job to the best of their ability.***

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