That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

resolute

on January 4, 2013

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions.  Probably because I make them every year and here I am morbidly obese, biting my nails, no children’s book written, no job to go to, no savings account of my own… you get the idea.

I don’t like being fat.  Now, before you even go there, it’s okay.  I am fat.  I am.  There are fatter out there, but yea, it’s true.  Obese.

I very diligently dieted and exercised in 2009 and I started to shape up.  Then i plateaued, lost hope and gave in to Aussie Cheese Fries.  Every year, it seems, I watch some documentary that scares the crap out of me and then decide to be healthy for a little while.

So, I’m not doing it.

There are some things I’d like to see happen.  I’d like to see a reduction in my facial hair.  I can’t help but think that this is connected to PCOS and being damn-near pre-diabetic.  I’d like for my knees to stop making that noise when I walk upstairs.  I wouldn’t mind weighing less.  But, I’m not setting myself up for failure with some New Year’s Resolution to diet and lose weight.

I have to confess, the genesis of this idea actually was a documentary again.  I watched “Hungry for Change” on Netflix.  The movie opens by saying something like, “we’re no longer eating food, but food-like products” that look and taste more amazing as technology improves.  But I don’t want to eat technology.  I don’t want to put engineered products inside me.  I want to eat… well… food.  Food like my ancestors ate.  Tomatoes.  Spinach.  Lettuce.  I am betting my ancestors didn’t eat kale, but I hear it’s good for you, too.  They sure didn’t eat Krispy Kreme donuts and waffle fries and chocolate milkshakes.  I’m not saying I’ve had my last Baskin Robbins, I’m just saying I want my diet (defined as the typical foods a particular species eats, by the way, as opposed to Weight Watchers) to be based on healthy, real food.

For example… a typical day after I had Bruce:

  • No breakfast. 
  • Lunch around 2: Chickfila sandwich, large fries, large Dr. Pepper/Coca-Cola split.
  • Dinner pretty late: something delicious that Tom made (spaghetti, garlic bread and a salad), or if we’re tired, Outback (12 oz. steak, cheese fries, steamed veggies, salad with ranch and some Bloomin’ Onion).  And either way, another Coke.

Today, I had:

  • Everything bagel, 2 eggs.
  • Dark leafy green salad, organic chips and salsa.
  • Hamburger with mushroom and shallots, dark leafy green salad, steamed brocoli, carrots and snow peaas.
  • More chips and salsa.
  • No soda, tons of water.

See, I’m not saying no to beef forever.  I just don’t want my diet to be based on that kind of stuff.  If at all possible, we are trying to cut out processed stuff.

Now look, I like Krispy Kreme and Outback and Chickfila.

I heard this thing in church once.  A Biblical scholar was teaching when a student asked him, “So, now that I am saved, I am free to do as I please?”  And the teacher replied, “Yes.  But what now pleases you?”  If you have truly become a follower of Christ, you want to drop everything and follow him, live your life to glorify his name, and be a missionary every day.  It’s kind of the same way with this.

Instead of saying, “I’m on a diet, I can’t have that.”  I’m feeling, “I can have that, but I don’t want it.”

It’s not proven science, but I feel like the excess fat contributed to the PCOS, which contributed to the cyst, and facial hair growth.  “If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff!”  I don’t want to have a fatty liver made of french fries and barbecue and high-fructose corn syrup.  I want to have vibrant, thriving cells made up of spinach and heirloom tomatoes.  I just want to be healthy.  You know what I mean?  I FEEL like the cyst was made of poor choices.  I don’t want to make those choices anymore.

They compare sugar in a lot of ways to cocaine in the documentary.  It was really good.  You should watch it.

Anyway.  No resolutions, but Tom and I are going to give this a shot for 2 weeks and see how we feel after that.  We might even see what we can do about exercising.

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