That La Kid

wishin' an' hopin'!

you ARE NOT the father

on August 25, 2011

Today is a milestone. It’s officially the longest that I have ever gone between periods, which makes me hopeful and sad at the same time. Hopeful because maybe this time is our time! Sad because this has all happened before, multiple times, and will probably just happen again – setting bigger and longer personal records.

So, I was watching a bit of Maury today, which rounds out my top 3 as far as daytime television is concerned, and it was a typical paternity test episode. It freaking blows my mind how many people are able to have kids while so many of us in the TTC universe continue to POAS and get -HPT’s with 0 hGC, would kill for a BFP, meanwhile it’s been 8 freggin weeks since my LMP… AFNW (that’s a new one, I just learned that one, just now)… ***Baby Dust to ALL***

wtf is with the baby dust crap… I don’t get it. Do other bloggers think I’m an asshole bc I don’t sprinkle baby dust on my posts? ASTERISKS! HAVE SOME SEX! ASTERISKS!

Anyway… so, I’m kickin’ back, suckin’ down some Velveeta Shells & Cheese on the couch watching Maury during Judge Judy’s commercial breaks and there’s this lady on stage that went to Vegas one weekend and gang-banged DOS hombres in UNA NOCHE. (They were black – idk where my spanish came from.) The episode is called “4 Women, 4 Babies… Is Sam the Father?” and originally aired on 11/5/2010, but I can’t ‘xactly find a transcript to see how that one turned out.

So, anyway… this lady goes to Vegas for a fun-filled weekend and gets filled with some strangers’ little swimmers (and while we’re on the subject, uh, hello? STDs much?) and she gets pregnant. Of course. And, it’s not just her! A typical Maury episode has, like, a dozen women who don’t know who fathered their little “surprises.”

NOT FAIR.

What a waste. We’re trying so haaard, my committed, lifelong soulmate and I. I have this friend on facebook that I often commiserate with who’s also trying so haaard… and got nothin’. So, I don’t know. Are the people on Maury less entitled to have a baby? Less deserving just because it’s not planned? Maybe. Yeah, for real, maybe. I guess that sounds AWFUL, but for real… One year I really wanted a laptop at a Black Friday sale, so after Thanksgiving dinner I went to Walmart and started the line. I slept outside – and it was the coldest night EVER. Lots of people showed up at 4:30 AM for the store opening at 5. I wanted a laptop more I guess, because I worked a lot harder. I sacrificed my whole night. I was in line for, like, 8 HOURS! I was there FOREVER! Did I deserve a laptop more than them? You betcha’.

And don’t get me started on this Casey Anthony lady. She got to have this beautiful little girl (like, srsly, the only thing I fear more than no baby is an ugly baby) and drugged her lil’ girl, or drowned her, then taped her face shut.

NOT FAIR.

How do you feel about Kit Avery? I saw “Avery” on a piece of stationery on Etsy, and was all, “Tom, what about Kit Avery La?” He likes it a lot. I keep suggesting “Kit Camille La” and he keeps responding, “Kit Chameleon?” He picked the Kit, he might as well pick the Avery. I’m happy that it’s not Chloe or Madison or Bella* or Oliva or some other name that everyone else has. Sounds like a cowboy name. No wait, I am thinking of Tex Avery.

*#1 Names for 2010 were Jacob and Isabella. No joke. Twilight, huh? Crazy right?

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